The Iron Scriptures

Surely strength and vascularity shall follow me all the days of my training, and I shall dwell in the House of Iron forever. Wheymen."
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Psalms of the Pump 23:5
"The Swolfather is my spotter; with Him beside me, I shall not fail. Though I walk through the valley of muscle failure, His mighty hands guide my bar to safety, and my pump overfloweth.

oak, so does thy abdomen support thy lifts, and those who neglect this teaching shall be visited by the wrath of lower back pain, sent forth by Swoliosis in his mischief.
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Abdominations 6:9
And lo, Flextor did bestow upon the faithful the sacred knowledge of the core, saying, "Blessed are those who strengthen their temple from within, for they shall move mountains of iron without injury." Keep thy core braced in all movements, for as the trunk supports the mighty

those who bent their backs or lifted with their shoulders were cast into the outer darkness where there is gnashing of teeth and loss of gains.
Read more at https://ironscripture.com/verse/2025-11-03

First Kings of the Kettlebell 8:15
And lo, King Gainzilla decreed throughout his kingdom, "Thou shalt swing the sacred kettlebell with thy hips and not thy arms, for the power cometh from the posterior chain." Those who heeded his command were blessed with glutes of steel and cores of iron, while

https://ironscripture.com/verse/2025-11-02

Thoracicles blessed those who recorded their progress saying, "Thy logbook shall be a testament to thy dedication; he who measures not his path shall wander aimlessly in the wilderness of mediocrity, but he who chronicles his lifts shall inherit the kingdom of gains."
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Ironicles 5:12
And it came to pass in the third era of iron, when Olympus first revealed the sacred art of posing, that the disciples of muscle began to document their journeys upon parchment.

became soft of belly and weak of will; therefore bind these commandments of consistency as signs upon thy hands and as frontlets between thine eyes, that thy gains shall multiply sevenfold.
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Deuteronomy of Discipline 6:8
And Brodin spake unto the wavering disciple, saying, "Thou shalt not forsake thy temple on days when thy spirit feels weak, for it is on these days that true strength is forged." Remember how Swoliosis tempted the ancestors with comfort and sloth, and those who yielded

Let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be abundant in protein."
Read more at https://ironscripture.com/verse/2025-10-31

Blessed are those who prepare their vessels with clean sustenance, for they shall receive the bounty of recovery that Wheymen bestows upon the faithful; but cursed are those who fill their bodies with empty calories, for their gains shall wither like grass beneath the summer sun.

Proverbs of Protein 8:14
"Hearken, my children, to the wisdom of Wheymen, for his teachings shall nourish thy muscles when the iron temple has closed its doors.

greatest love, and the Iron Maidens smile upon such selfless acts in the house of worship.
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Acts of the Spotters 5:12
And lo, the Swolfather looked upon those who aided their brethren in times of struggle beneath the iron, saying, "Blessed are the spotters, for they shall inherit the temple of gains." For verily, he who standeth ready to catch the barbell of his neighbor showeth the

in the temple of iron that muscles are forged, but in the hallowed chambers of slumber where thy body is made anew.
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Revelation of Recovery 7:9
And Brosiris spake unto the weary, saying "Blessed are those who honor the sacred seventh day, for in rest there is growth, and in recovery there is strength." The Swolfather watches with favor upon those who sleep deeply and break bread with purpose, for it is not only

remember that transformation cometh not from occasional worship, but from daily devotion at the iron altar.
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The Gospel According to Swoluke 7:14
And Swoluke spake unto his disciples, saying, "He who pusheth himself beyond comfort, yet maintaineth proper form, shall be blessed by Brodin with gains beyond measure." For as the iron tests thy spirit, so too doth thy dedication reveal the true disciple;

desert of plateaus, while he who measureth with precision shall be blessed with the fruits of transformation. The scales of judgment weigh not only thy body but the wisdom of thy nutrition.
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Numbers of Nutrition 3:7
And Wheymen spake unto the people, saying "Thou shalt count thy macros with the diligence of a scribe, for what entereth thy mouth determineth thy gains and losses." He who ignoreth the sacred proportions of protein, carbohydrate, and fat shall wander forty days in the

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The Quad Father watches with approval as thou honoreth the sacred squat, for those who bear the burden of soreness today shall be blessed with the pillars of might tomorrow. Remember, my child, that which causeth the greatest lament often bringeth the most glorious transformation.

Lamentations of Leg Day 7:3
Behold, thy suffering on this holy Leg Day is a sacrifice most pleasing unto Brodin; though thy limbs may tremble and thy steps falter as thou descendeth the stairs of tribulation.

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Psalms of the Pump 23:4
Blessed is the disciple who seeketh the holy pump, for in the swelling of muscles doth Flextor smile upon thee. As blood rusheth to thy muscles like rivers of life, remember that the pump is but temporary, yet the glory of Brodin's approval is eternal. Wheymen.

better to lift light with righteousness than to hoist heavy with the corruption of thine alignment, lest Swoliosis cast his crooked shadow upon thy frame.
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Leviticus of Lifts 4:11
And Odin-lift spake unto his disciples, saying, "Thou shalt not curve thy spine when lifting the sacred iron, for he who sacrifices form for heavier burdens mocketh the temple of his body." Honor thy form and thy technique, and keep them holy above all weight, for it is

that forty days and forty nights of discipline shall be required before thy body is transformed, and those who worship the golden arch shall not see the glory of visible striations.
Read more at https://ironscripture.com/verse/2025-10-23