Janet

I miss twitter

where am I supposed to post my unhinged thoughts bc it seems wrong to post them here

forever jealous of people who can just fall asleep when they’re tired

I dropped my entire grinder into the frame of my friend’s hot tub. It’s resting with the spider webs and dead bugs now and forever.

hi ily 🥰

I heard someone’s plans for the weekend and thought, “wow!! I wonder when they get their homework done!”

and then I remembered most of my friends no longer have homework

discovering the path by my apartment become snake-covered after it rains is a fun development

reframe: you’re the cool client that uses his full name and he finds it endearing :^)

TURN ON THE FUCKING NEWS IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT CHANNEL

I’m like if a golden retriever had clinical depression

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

a man with glasses and a mustache is being photographed by a woman holding a camera that says ko on it ALT: a man with glasses and a mustache is being photographed by a woman holding a camera that says ko on it

I recently discovered bodysuits and how they make wearing jeans tolerable and I fear I’m turning into Tobias Funke

Wisconsin residents are receiving text messages from a (202) D.C. area code, falsely urging them not to vote in the upcoming election. These messages are not legitimate.

mixing miralax into mountain dew code red, as god intended

a man in a blue shirt is sitting on a bus and says whatever i feel like i wanna do gosh ALT: a man in a blue shirt is sitting on a bus and says whatever i feel like i wanna do gosh

“What are you going to do when you graduate?”

creating a pseudo standing desk has been such a game changer for me

I still find myself randomly in another room when I thought I was working on something, but at least I wind up back at my desk faster

The red hot chili peppers should change it up and start writing all their songs about rhode island

one of my professors is also here on Tuesday; she had the exact same reaction to my comment 🤭

either way, the noise was coming from a kid

“is there a student fake burping in the hallway?”

“no, I’m pretty sure it’s just the goat”

I work in a rural elementary school once a week and today there’s a goat wearing a diaper casually walking down the hallway???

he finally got fired!!!?

uh hello send the Zillow link cuz I wanna seeeeeee

I didn't consider remote learning and Zoom meetings when I decorated my apartment, so now we're amidst a blizzard and I'm in class with @tommysiegel.bsky.social bird butt art behind me

yes

what the fuck do you mean Jake Gyllenhaal is Bubble Boy

I would go so so far as to say: that’s what we all want.

or the Diet Coke will be extra spicy (bubbly)

godspeed