Ephemerides's Avatar

Ephemerides

@ephemerides.bsky.social

🔞 NSFW. Grumpy, Gym-addicted, and Geriatric. Don't cam. Don't call. Don't have Snap. Shit at sexy chat.

1,976 Followers  |  1,651 Following  |  1,115 Posts  |  Joined: 14.11.2024  |  1.9126

Latest posts by ephemerides.bsky.social on Bluesky

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🖐️

01.12.2025 13:13 — 👍 6    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

😂😂😂 Keep staring and you'll get a slap from it to wake you up! 😈

01.12.2025 10:18 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

😂😂😂🤷‍♂️

01.12.2025 08:00 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

If only there were somewhere to hide it 😈😈

01.12.2025 07:57 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

😂😂😂😂

01.12.2025 07:56 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Boss: "why are you late?"
You: "DICK! Oh, sorry... did I say that out loud?"
😂😂😂

01.12.2025 07:39 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Arriving late smelling of cum is frowned upon... but what the hell 🤷‍♂️😈😈

01.12.2025 07:38 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Stop sitting there gazing. It's Monday. Gotta get to work!
#mcm

01.12.2025 07:14 — 👍 58    🔁 2    💬 5    📌 0

😈😈😈 we'll find SOMETHING that needs rearranged 😈

30.11.2025 12:06 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Of course, this means i'm going to have to hire a van and start knocking on random doors demanding that they let me move their furniture 😅

30.11.2025 11:59 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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Closest I've got to a "rope" in a while. Evidently being manly and helping shift furniture got me going.
#SundayCumday #wank #cum

30.11.2025 11:02 — 👍 66    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 1

😂😂😂

29.11.2025 11:25 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

If it squeaks it's probably just old age 😅

29.11.2025 11:00 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Nope - you have to work. Tell you what, I'll play with it all day to save you the trouble 😈

29.11.2025 07:24 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Two days of helping with a house move and not being naked. I feel filthy.
#scs

29.11.2025 07:16 — 👍 76    🔁 1    💬 2    📌 0

My mother would be so proud of the accommodating gentleman I've become 😂😂😏

28.11.2025 08:21 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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When oomf tells you he loves watching and hearing you cum...
#FriskyFriday #fcf #wank #cum

28.11.2025 07:21 — 👍 87    🔁 5    💬 3    📌 0

Permission to add mine to that load then lick the two of them up? 🍆💦💦👅👅😈

27.11.2025 10:12 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Believe me, I'd be more than delighted to hump you instead 😈🥵...
...then unload inside, and rinse you out with hot soapy water, too, if that's what you're into 😅

27.11.2025 08:28 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I'd happily burn the toy if you were there 🥵😈😈

27.11.2025 07:52 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

I mean, why resist? 😈😈😂😂

27.11.2025 07:36 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

It's a full-time job. Honestly, no sooner are they shiny than they get all sticky again. Constantly at it. 😈

27.11.2025 07:35 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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July 2023 - needed something to hump.
#ThrowbackThursday

27.11.2025 07:31 — 👍 67    🔁 2    💬 3    📌 0

I suddenly have the urge to dunk a tea bag... 🥵

26.11.2025 10:41 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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a shirtless man in rvca shorts is jumping into a body of water ALT: a shirtless man in rvca shorts is jumping into a body of water

👅👅😈

26.11.2025 07:48 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I'm not. I'm from a place where men in uniform used to frisk you if you wanted to go shopping.

26.11.2025 07:36 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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#HumpDay: the day that you start to feel the end of the week beckoning you.

26.11.2025 07:15 — 👍 65    🔁 1    💬 3    📌 0

😈😈

25.11.2025 11:44 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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a girl in a floral dress is asking where have you been ALT: a girl in a floral dress is asking where have you been

🥰🥵😘

25.11.2025 08:34 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Well, something about me has to be sparkly or I lose my Gay Card. 😅

25.11.2025 07:36 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

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