Chris

Isabel Oakeshott must be so pleased she moved to Dubai because London is such a dangerous no-go war zone.

A correction for the ages (from The Guardian's review of 'Melania'):

SOMEONE CALL THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS. I have found the most middle class review ever on Ocado for Comte cheese.

Steady yourselves for this

Ready? You’re not even close to being ready

Ageing like a fine wine, this one.

The Penryn. Though she be little she is fierce.

A golden menorah with two lit candles stands on a white surface next to a plate of doughnuts topped with sugar and jam. Behind it, a blue background features a large white circle with the text: “Mayor of London / Chanukah Sameach."

Light over darkness. Hope over despair.

Wishing Jewish communities in London and around the world a joyful and blessed Chanukah.

Chanukah Sameach!

Just seen the word “spittoon” in print. Not a daily occurrence, but a reminder of the excellence of -oon words. Harpoon. Poltroon. Festoon. Contrabassoon.

Yay. Priceless. The right column at the right time. And a gleefully English two fingers to the haters.

A headline that reads “want to gather your own firewood? Why owning a woodland might be the answer”.

Oh yeah I hadn’t thought of that

Britain has been multicultural for the last 2000 years. That's why we have the Roman alphabet, a Middle East religion, Arabic numerals, a Syrian patron saint, an aristocracy with French ancestry and a German royal family.

Currently reading a book about the Second World War (1937-1843) and I'm afraid it's dated very badly.

Super relatable! Why didn't I think of that

YouTube video by Zoe Gardner Would a SAFE ROUTE WORK to stop Channel crossings?

Providing safe routes to reach the UK is the only logical, evidence-based way to stop people travelling through irregular means.

Last night Ben Kentish challenged me on @lbc.co.uk on how that would work & whether A MILLION BILLION PEOPLE might come😱 www.youtube.com/watch?v=Al4R...

I prosecute and defend the most serious sexual offences in our courts.

The overwhelming majority of offenders are British-born. Overwhelmingly the victim is someone known to them, either a partner or relative.

Anybody purporting to care about protecting women might start there.

1 in 3 doctors were born overseas.

1 in 2 builders were born overseas.

1 in 6 nurses were born overseas.

1 in 4 transport workers were born overseas.

1 in 7 UK business founders were born overseas.

1 in 5 university academics were born overseas.

The UK would be screwed without them.

We now go live to Queen Mary I.

Sean Penn is where you put the sheep who’ve had their trim.

People think money has ruined football but the sight of a rapist dictator standing next to a corrupt football official in front of a big gold trophy at a competition bankrolled by Saudi Arabia reminds me the game still belongs to us.

Of course we’re angry about how we treat people in our asylum system,

But we should also be furious at the immense waste of public money that this failed deterrence policy represents. That money belongs to us & should be used to support our communities, not terrorise migrants!

I wonder what the most asymmetrical scheduled flight is in terms of passenger balance between destination and origin. How many Spanish folk are there on flights between Alicante and East Midlands for instance?

the patriotic scottish way to phrase this is surely "Parisian holidaymakers at long last to get direct flights to Aberdeen"

I knocked over a plant in the kitchen, but my cat saw me, so I had to spray myself with water, so I could show her the law of applies to everyone

Google translate screenshot. Sneglefart: snail's pace

Today's absolutely delightful Norwegian word:

A bottle of ‘Urine B-Gone’ cleaning fluid

One of Chuck Berry’s less successful songs

Hello, I’m a disruptor, very smart, here to create efficiency. I’m just going to drill holes in the bottom of this boat to see which parts of the hull are mission-critical.

Musk calls Sen. Kelly a 'traitor' over trip to Ukraine, Kelly hits back Elon Musk called Democratic Sen. Mark Kelly a "traitor" in a post on X after Kelly posted that he had visited Ukraine over the weekend.

Defending freedom is a basic tenet of what makes America great and keeps us safe. If Elon doesn't understand that, maybe he should leave it to those of us who do.

Mail on Sunday backed Remain in the 2016 brexit referendum if I remember rightly.

Or even better, just call it Droof! Or East Camborne.

Bowing out of the Emirates FA Cup with our heads held high 💚