Nine-Toed Sloth

Genuinely wondering who gives a fuck if a billionaire flies into space for 5 mins? It's like forcing people to praise the photo you got at the end of Splash Mountain.

"It's Jess!"

Dude, I can't be the first #Ohio resident to say this, but when #Lebron finally stops doing that thing he's perfect at, he should run for #governor. Fuck anyone who says athletes should shut up and dribble. They have a voice, they have a vote.

If #PizzaHut wanted to retake the pizza crown, they'd bring back both the Pizzone and the Tripple-Decker pizza. You know Ben Wyatt would agree on the first, and the second is a lasagne-like pizza. Easy fuckin choice.

Anyone else ever wake up with the "California Dreams" theme stuck in their head? I have no clue why that soft, rolling guitar with "surf dudes with attitudes, kinda grooooovey..." just keeps playing. What a fucking #earworm.

@adamconley.bsky.social thanks for following, Adam. You're the only person who has, lol.

My hope: whatever happens to him in college, wherever he ends up, I hope #TavienStClair tells the media how to properly pronounce "Bellefontaine."

Instead of tearing down malls, a town somewhere should invest in the whole building as an indoor living space/city. Think about it: 100s of small apartments (most of the stores), restaurants, maybe an arcade...plus, no worry about the outdoors. It could be super expensive. An antisocial dream.

Somehow, over the last 60 years, we've watched "The Andy Griffith Show," and decided that Barney Fife was the good, competent, to-be-emulated cop, and Andy was a bleeding heart softie cuck.
#HappyNewYear!

Goddamn, is #Oprah do-able in that one Tom Cruise interview. You know the one...

#Wendy's should bring back the Super Bar.

Can't wait for the #LiveAction Bluey they'll inevitably make when Gen Z hits 30.

I am so pumped to see Tim Olyphant is in Noah Hawley's Alien Earth. Cannot wait for this show now!

Goddammit, Mel Gibson. You go and accept a fucking #QAnon award? That's a whole class of cinema I can no longer watch. Fuck you.

I know this makes me weird, but I probably stream more on #Peacock than any other. They have a great assortment of sitcoms (including The Office and Parks and Rec), plus Seth Meyers, and all 50 seasons of SNL. Not sure why so many people shit on it so hard.

So what happened to those pets in Springfield!?!

Why the hell the Taylor bashing?

Is it made in China/Canada/Mexico?

Old school Fountains of Wayne. Guaranteed, if you like 90s flicks, you've heard em. Great Indy band. Covid wrecked them.

This stupid effing country.

🍿

So... onto Bluesky. When the next one of these inevitably comes along - probably some misguided attempt to create a "Joe Rogan" type liberal echo chamber - can we all agree to just not? I'm really fucking sick of switching accounts.

Also hey guys, I'm Foster.