eric’s limited skillset 🇨🇦

Grilled cheese and Olympics?

Being glued to incredible Olympics coverage for the last two weeks has been a welcome reprieve from all the usual bullshit I’m normally glued to.

I have two main types of coworkers: checked out and prickly gatekeepers.

“THROW HER, THROW HER!” my wife screams while watching pairs figure skating with the passion of 80,000 Romans gathered in the Colosseum circa 100 AD

Being an adult is cool because you’re exhausted all the time but you also get the satisfaction of not really accomplishing anything

it’s called a british gentleman’s cane because chapstick was taken

WATCH: Trump, EPA's Zeldin announce end of scientific basis for U.S. action on climate change The Trump administration on Thursday revoked a scientific finding that long has been the central basis for U.S. action to regulate greenhouse gas emissions and fight climate change, the most aggressiv...

Today, the Trump administration repealed the endangerment finding: the ruling that served as the basis for limits on tailpipe emissions and power plant rules. Without it, we’ll be less safe, less healthy and less able to fight climate change—all so the fossil fuel industry can make even more money.

Luge doubles is hands down the coziest Olympic event

putting a rotisserie chicken on each hand and boxing people at costco

A stingray is just a regular ray that tells you not to put on the red light.

Before Mr and Mrs Potatohead tied the knot, they were cohabi-taters.

I rarely forget to log out before I leave the bathroom

Bahahaha!!

Called two gym bros 'swolemates' today so I'm posting this from inside a locker.

I’m obsessed with you??
YOU’RE the one that won’t get out of my head!

I bet it feels so good for the parking lot to be empty after being full all day

My boss can talk for 45 straight minutes without taking a breath.

Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.

😂

Got fired from my job as a vet because I told a lady I was ‘hoptimistic’ about her rabbit walking again lol and also because I’m not a qualified vet.

Quiet you. Just let the rich people tell us what to do

Therapist: what seems to be the problem?

Me: singular? that’s cute

*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this

I bet I could skip this phone halfway across a big pond on a clear day

I rue the day my sunspots flare up. My dermatologist died eight yrs ago

For years, I thought DEFCON 5 was more serious than DEFCON 1, and I'll be honest: a lot of people died

😂😂

This day in history. 1509. The Battle of Diu in India saw the Portuguese navy defeat a joint fleet of the Ottoman Empire, the Republic of Venice, the Sultan of Gujarat, the Mamluk Burji Sultanate of Egypt, the Zamorin of Calicut, the Republic of Ragusa, the Ace of Base, and the Kings of Leon.

We just have to make it to jorts season. Balance will return. Society will heal.

I love that Trump can’t win with his Kennedy center, so he’s just closing it for two years!

What the Kennedy family should do now is ask for their name to be taken off Trump‘s center and have some wealthy donors build a brand new Kennedy center.