Christian Mortensen's Avatar

Christian Mortensen

@theactualizedalien.com.bsky.social

Hypnotic journeys. Alien parables. Fables and myths. On my wizard shit. Tapping into the power of the unconscious mind. My name is Christian Mortensen and I am a life transformation coach, facilitator, and storyteller based in Brooklyn, NY.

4 Followers  |  4 Following  |  12 Posts  |  Joined: 18.01.2025  |  1.3933

Latest posts by theactualizedalien.com on Bluesky

Preview
Here is your permission a pep talk from a life transformation coach

I have become something of a professional permission-giver...

open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

25.05.2025 13:01 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Fire the Cannonball Today. Now.

Fire it.

Launch it.

Light the fuse.

Make an irreversible decision.

Quit your job.

Take the trip.

Get the tattoo.

Do it now.

It’s 2025 – do you see the state of the world?

Elon Musk might delete all of our retirement accounts tomorrow.

What are you waiting for?

24.04.2025 00:21 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
My Clown Weekend Why I paid $300 for a clown workshop

Why did I pay $300 to spend my weekend at a clown workshop?

theactualizedalien.substack.com/p/my-clown-w...

05.04.2025 12:34 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
The Woman With Flowers Growing in Her Purse Do you know the woman with flowers growing in her purse?

What dreams are you keeping hidden away from the world?

open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

05.04.2025 12:29 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
I sold my soul for $100 and a slice of pepperoni pizza How much does it cost to abandon a dream?

The dream never dies, it stays within you, waiting for the right time to resurface.
open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

06.03.2025 00:18 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
An Ode to Slow Growth Some things I've learned about taking shortcuts.

I wrote about my experience of wasting thousands of dollars on a lead generation agency so that you don’t have to make the same mistake.

open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

25.02.2025 14:32 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Dying for an Audience The tale of Creativius and Fox.

New short story just dropped!

A playful fable about the dangers of trying to β€œbuild an audience”.

Enjoy!

open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

19.02.2025 13:24 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Oligarch Piss Please, take me to a place where humans have figured out how to live together in harmony.

Enjoy this unhinged short story for your Friday afternoon entertainment: open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

07.02.2025 17:08 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
The Door(s) I have been thinking a lot about doors lately.

Your unconscious mind knows just how incredible you are and how awesome your life can be.

You can feel it, can’t you?

It wants to evolve the mental blocks and limiting beliefs into unstoppable confidence and happiness and joy and peace and ease.

open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

27.01.2025 00:10 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
The Tortoise and the Hare and Grebbelthorp It was Grebbelthorp’s first day on earth, and I was showing them around.

I wrote a story where I explain The Tortoise and the Hare to an alien while showing them around Times Square: open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

26.01.2025 18:42 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I'm spending less time watching news and more time quantum jumping into a cool dimension I found where Trump, Elon, Zuckerberg, and Bezos are broke and trapped in a never ending reality show where they have to take turns drinking each other's piss. It's really helping my mental health.

24.01.2025 22:15 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Catching Fish for David My David Lynch Tribute

I went fishing for memories about fish and wrote about it in honor of David Lynch: open.substack.com/pub/theactua...

24.01.2025 21:46 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

@theactualizedalien.com is following 4 prominent accounts