Six is a professional cake topper.

WalrUS.

I like to read with company.

They have the time.

Imagining the audience in their underwear and they’re very angry with me.

Please fill out the proper paperwork before kicking off Armageddon.

You should see the other cover.

Accidentally Marrying The Coach by Chloe Maine
#Voice by me. NSFW

In the face of growing dread, in spite of my own adhd in overdrive, I will post the Tuesday smut because it's Tuesday and I am a servant of tautology.

You'll never get blood anywhere with ventricles like that.

Making him a 'Fangs for the memories' card.

I feel bad for the little kid who lost their tarantula sized fake spider.

I feel slightly worse for the arachnophobic who finds it in front of the school.

The intersection of weird sexism/racism and content for the content mill is the worst part of the current nonsense.

What even the fuck.

I need you all to show up. I want us to have a thousand people there if not more.

"I want a good clean marriage. Let's get it on!"

They're both incompetent and they want victims they can use as justification for whatever they feel like doing next.

Obviously they are a published professional.

Sorry, I got distracted from my distraction from my distraction and now I’m looking at cloud chambers.

Stories since the dawn of time about how using dark magic to bring your loved ones back always ends in unspeakable tragedy taught us nothing because some guys want to make money.

Note to self. Design and sell

Fedorarmoir.

It’s fine, they definitely learned after time spent in Afghanistan “the graveyard of empires”.

If you need me I’ll be mysteriously quiet in the other room triggering your every parental instinct about impending disaster.

And that guy?

Pablo Picasso.

Teeth party!

DESTROYING A WOMAN'S EGO. Some wannabe redpill life coach talking about how important it is to destroy a woman’s ego.

YouTube decided it wanted to raise my blood pressure by showing me someone to punch in the nose.

I’m expecting official Deus Vult memes and I hate it.

A blood moon you say?

Butt dial me, I want to know your ass still cares.

You leave me alone in a room with this and any ikea furniture and let me zone out to music and I’ll assemble everything in an hour.

Like someone who would enjoy getting that as a gift or having them as decor? Yeah, they’re cute and you’re cute. Plus no maintenance to worry about.

Apparently I did watch this trailer and had just immediately forgotten it. Let’s hope that happens twice.