Samara

Whoever orders Chinese food multiple times a week in my apartment building is going to get their ass kicked for the smell making me lust this much

For the past several weeks, I've been sleeping approx 3 hours a night and surviving on bread and sunflower seeds. I am in my horse era. Nothing can stop me except breaking my leg within eyesight of an armed rancher

The aforementioned muppet

On multiple occasions, my dog sophie has chased and barked at herself in the mirror and it makes me wonder if its just for fun or if she truly believes there's a black muppet dog trapped behind a pane of glass that's copying her every move

I was just catcalled and chased by a middle aged man on crutches??

All caps June is not out of the realm of possibility

I'm the type of neurodivergent that decides that since I accidentally wrote my first client's intake form in all caps, then I have to write everybody else's intake forms in all caps for the rest of the day or the earth will stop and everybody will die

5 reapers burning in my stomach rn. Didn't expect to eat 5 when i woke up today but here we are. I guess tolerance training for the upcoming season is starting strong. I am holding on for dear life.

Also mentioning how great my dog Lily is in case she sees this and gets jealous

Every time I come home, my dog Sophie tries out her best dying pacman noises istg

Wow who knew having two dogs is just simply better

Got a show coming up at No Fun on the 25th with Romie Romak + The Turquoise Lemonade, Wet Mango, and Grant Brett! Come hang out 🎅

When my train stopped at a station, some guy just stepped on the train, pointed at me, said
"Hey! 🫵👁️👄👁️ Do what you gotta do." then stepped off and walked away

Without gender neutral bathrooms, where else are cis people going to take their most sinful poops?

The audacity of someone apologizing for their dog getting in my way. How dare you assume I'm bothered. Your dog is actually not close enough

This is all personal opinion and information gathered from my own research. No doubt, the reaper is a hot pod and it was the first superhot I ever ate, but saying it's the hottest takes away from what it really is. Same with Pepper X. Let them be what they are and stop being a capitalist. Its fruit.

Guinness tests SHU on their own and much of the ability to be recognized as the hottest is behind a paywall.
The hottest peppers Ive eaten (that burn more than the reaper and pepper x tinc) are
Red Primotalii
7 Pot Bubblegum Red
Chocolate Primotalii
7 Pot Primo
Death Spiral
Trinidad Moruga Scorpion

Last Dab Xperience got independently tested and even though it's supposed to contain 91% of a pepper thats supposed to reach 2.69m SHU, the sauce doesn't even hit 70k. Like how Reapers should hit 2.2m but I've never seen one test over 1m. They aren't even in my top 10 hottest pods I've eaten, sorry!

Tincs are supposed to beat the heat level of any pod, and Pepper X is supposed to be the hottest. I call bs. I've had pods double the heat of that tinc and Pepper X sauce isn't even as hot as eating a hab. There's a reason Ed won't sell powders or pods. They'll get tested. Its a sham!

I've used my Pepper X tinc for so many challenges that have made me vom that now the taste and smell of it makes me gag 😬
Plus, it somehow coagulated recently, so its extra sludgy and disgusting. I tried to cook with it last night and I had to spit the noodles out. RIP Pepper X, you aint shit anyway

I'm performing like half of my discography. Most of which, I've never performed before. I really had to dig deep to pull these out of my ass

Made a mix of my whole 25 minute set for the show on Jan 28.
Sooooo you should come. 7pm at No Fun Bar with lil t4t, Saoirse Dream, and Braindead Puppy. Glory to the pups and down with the vacuum cleaner

Thank youu! Yeah, I'm doing alright. These things happen. At least I didn't have to scrap today, so I call that a win 🤌

Ahh tyty. It happens. C'est la vie, as they say. Can't believe he didn't give me a kiss tho >:(

Some guy followed me as I got off the train today. I confronted him about it as he tried to sneak up behind me. He then squared up and asked if I was a faggot, so I responded with "why? are you trying to kiss me on the lips?" and tbh I'm kinda surprised how quickly that made him run off 💀

Bruh thats gotta be a new record istg 💀

Walking downtown last night, some guy walked up to me fully blocced up in a ski mask like "hey baby where you goin??"
I slipped away and this Swiper ass dude clicked his tongue and went "daamnn.."
Juggman No Jugging‼️🗣️🙅🏻‍♀️

Didn't wanna spend $8 on a burger at Carl's Jr so instead, I spent $25 at the grocery store to make my own. #stonks

Thinking back to earlier this year when i was crossing the street, i passed by this guy who suddenly started lustfully staring at me so locked in that he dropped his pizza in front of everyone waiting at the intersection and he had to bend down and shamefully pick it up off the crosswalk