Ant Stephen

Sounds like a piss take

Doubt it, there’s a big difference between ‘went nowhere’ and ‘was jailed for murder’!

I’m sure they’re happy with the free publicity on a channel which doesn’t show adverts.

File under “People who died in similar ways to Epstein”

No, this is

Repost for a chance to win 2 passes for The Charlatans, Embrace & The Coral at Castlefield Bowl in Manchester on July 3rd

Tickets on sale Friday 10am

Pre-sale tomorrow from 10am

WINNER PICKED AT RANDOM TOMORROW (Thursday at 9:30am)

a tractor with a hose attached to it is spraying water on a car . ALT: a tractor with a hose attached to it is spraying water on a car .

What’s the worst that could happen?

Band On The Wall tonight for the biggest Manchester reunion gig of 2025 - The Man From Delmonte!

Mum had a fall. Wouldn’t go to hospital because she said she’d spend 12 hours in A&E and end up forgotten about on a trolley in a corridor. A week later we went to A&E, spent 12 hours there and she ended up forgotten about on a trolley in a corridor. True story. Lovely staff but not fit for purpose

Walking past a bus stop today and somebody asked me the time. My first thought - whoa an actual person who doesn't have a mobile phone with them. Must be fairly uncommon these days.

Where can I buy it? 🤣

Tiffany off of Eastenders

Today I learned that Britney Spears’ hit Toxic was written about the Supervet Noel Fitzpatrick. Written by Cathy Dennis who dated Fitzpatrick after taking her Labrador to him for treatment.

And it’s a pacifist

Enjoy Apple TV+ for free, only this weekend.

Apple TV is free this weekend which is enough time to binge all 4 series of Slow Horses. Highly recommended!

Clare took her bike into Halfords for a puncture repair.

“Have you tried pumping it up?”

Those people are geniuses, they’ll go far.

You need a better thesaurus

Must be adopted

Inderell? Never heard of it.

Today is the first day of pâté on toast for breakfast.

Then he changed his mind and called it Bluebird instead.

Today marks the 10 year anniversary of the Karl Oyston text insults advent calendar.

Yesterday was the shortest day of the year except for anyone who sat through 90 minutes of Blackpool v Stevenage.

How have I got a bluebottle flying around my house in the middle of December?

Yes write it on the back of your hand on 1st Jan and you're laughing for the rest of the year. Clare's is 31st December so she has to wait all year before she can do that.

They found out someone was skimming off the top.

Just work it out from the year you were born. That's what I always have to do.

Can we get all the posts you put on Twitter posted over here too. Can’t grow on here if you don’t post

Needs more exclusive content (TMFD!) then suggestions to visit Bluesky for more exclusive videos/photos etc. on the other platforms