Luma

I almost had a panic attack after I got told what happened, I was genuinely shocked. Now I'm just feeling a mix of sadness and anger. I might have done the right thing by cutting ties, but losing someone that mattered to me like this is just too much for me to handle at the moment.

I just hoped that this one time I really mattered to someone but I was wrong yet again. All this time I've been supporting a horrible person and they didn't even bother telling me the truth after confronting them... in fact they just flat out ignored me which already tells me all I needed to know.

I don't know why... but every time I get close to anyone it just ends in disaster.
This genuinely feels like a curse, like every time I make friends it's just a matter of time before they leave me because they find someone better or I have to distance myself from them because of weird stuff.

so eepi :c

I genuinely hope that things will improve next year. I do want to start with therapy, hrt and laser hair removal in 2026... but still, I feel like I'm transitioning way too late and I might not be happy with the results. Still, it's the only choice I have if I ever want to live a life worth living.

Waking up and knowing that I'm allowed to just be myself calms me down a lot... but at the same time I barely know who I really am. I only know that whatever I am at the moment is something I don't want to lose anymore.

Looking back, there were so many signs... but I just didn't understand any of them. I don't know if I was just too young to understand.

Coming out to myself and finally acknowledging these emotions helped a lot, even though the rest of my life is still a wreck.

it's so incredibly rough to think about how getting born into the wrong gender can just ruin your life like that. like yeah sure I now know that I want to be a woman... but I ended up wasting so much time and energy living as something I deeply hated.

Developing your own Minecraft server will fix you (it will actually drive you insane)

I was kinda looking forward to splatoon's halloween splatfest but now that its actually live i lost any interest in participating. Working on personal projects is actually so much more fun rn tbh

There's so much bad stuff going on in my life right now, idk what I did to deserve all of this... I'm so close to giving up on myself again

:3

anything with fruit in them is peak for me, cherry & peach are my fav so far :3

got new keycaps :3
it’s kinda cursed because i put ISO UK keycaps on a ISO DE kb layout, but it’s very nice to use despite some keys not really matching… finding good DE ISO keycaps is sadly very difficult :c
(i’m also into tea now :D)

:3

everything went well :3

surgery tomorrow :c

if only there was a character customization screen in real life...

September 2025 Recap - Xenyria In September, we made a lot of progress on refactoring our code base and began development on our new and improved client mod, Xenon. We are also excited to show a new stage for PaintSquad. 👀

New blog post for Xenyria, including a new stage and some details regarding our future plans for PaintSquad. :3

xenyria.net/news/septemb...

I try to be active both here and on Twitter, so expect all kinds of stuff being posted here: Nerdy things about my projects, personal stuff & random thoughts. All safe for work of course. :3

You can find all my socials on my personal website: luma.fm

YouTube video by Luma :3 PaintSquad Alpha Test Gameplay (Arcadia & Bonevalley Canyon)

My main project at the moment is PaintSquad which is a paint-based multiplayer FPS game in Minecraft (fully vanilla btw), inspired by a certain silly squid game :3

Here is some test gameplay in case you're interested. It's still WIP but I have huge plans for the future
youtu.be/S-DIKi3d2zY

Since I haven't properly introduced myself yet...

Uhh haiii! I'm Luma :3 (she/her)
I'm 24 years old, trans & pan.
I write software for a living, but I also play & develop games in my free time. I'm into all kinds of fandoms, including Splatoon, UT/Deltarune, Genshin, The Owl House and more :D

Looks like I will have to keep looking for more therapists... the person I ran into was a walking red flag... :/
If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Literally best day this year so far :3
I'm just weeks away from therapy and might also be able to start with HRT before the end of this year. YIPPIE!!! :3

The only negative thing on my mind right now is wisdom teeth surgery (which is in 2 weeks...) :/

meow :3

🥺

i don't think i ever felt this peaceful & relaxed ever before in my entire life. transitioning literally saved me, even if i'm still months away from getting HRT.
its been around 4 weeks since I came out and the quality of my life went up by so much, it's incredible.

i can't believe undertale is already 10 years old

:3

We basically want to give players the same tools our map builders have to make building, testing & submitting levels easier. The video below also shows some of the debug rendering (e.g. visualizing the trajectory of a boost pad) + quick in-game testing/prototyping