Goose augustagoose - Bluesky Statics

I think I’m single because I like my pillow fort more than I like meeting people.

I’m sure that’s the only reason.

03.03.2026 03:46 — 👍 17 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0

I’m fucking hilarious. I will die on this hill.

03.03.2026 03:12 — 👍 16 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0

Fact: sperm whales call humans “jizz monkeys”

27.02.2026 16:40 — 👍 179 🔁 60 💬 3 📌 1

Exfoliating with the spiciest packet of ramen seasoning I could find.

02.03.2026 21:45 — 👍 90 🔁 35 💬 3 📌 0

Aw man, don’t tempt me with the bubbly charred bits!

03.03.2026 02:58 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

all kibbles imply corresponding bits

03.03.2026 02:01 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

I think in two-line skeets

like this

02.03.2026 22:11 — 👍 21 🔁 8 💬 2 📌 1

two men standing next to each other with the words it 's a major award behind them ALT: two men standing next to each other with the words it 's a major award behind them

03.03.2026 02:47 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I Do Not Like My Tinder Date I am Nate Your Tinder Date That Nate my date! My Tinder date! I do not like My Tinder date Would you like To procreate? I do not like that, Nate my...

Would you like it
At my flat?
Would you like
To meet my cat??

I would not like it
At your flat.
I do not wish
To meet your cat.
I do not like it
Here or there.
I do not like it
Anywhere.
I do not like to procreate
I do not like it, Tinder date.

03.03.2026 02:20 — 👍 53 🔁 6 💬 1 📌 1

“Verify you’re a human.”

Is that something to really want to fucking aspire to?

03.03.2026 02:08 — 👍 59 🔁 19 💬 5 📌 0

I have strong feelings about this. I need some bacon to properly process my feelings.

03.03.2026 02:39 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Beautiful out there, I hear.
Time for some scenic toasting!

03.03.2026 02:33 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

🔥

03.03.2026 02:32 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

You too! 🫶

03.03.2026 02:00 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I’ve got a thing tomorrow, how about I show up Wednesday?

03.03.2026 01:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

My man. ❤️🔥

03.03.2026 01:57 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I concur.

03.03.2026 01:54 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I feel like you might have a fire pit. Want a houseguest? I’ll bring marshmallows.

03.03.2026 01:47 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

You’re welcome? I’m sorry? Please have one on my behalf?

03.03.2026 01:46 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Other than on sweet potatoes, It’s been 6 years and 10 months since it’ve had a roasted marshmallow and that is a damned travesty.

03.03.2026 01:46 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I wish, no grills in the apartment building. And they aren’t quite right when toasted over an electric stove.
I need some more friends with open flames.

03.03.2026 01:42 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Anyone else craving roasted marshmallows? 👀

03.03.2026 01:21 — 👍 30 🔁 7 💬 11 📌 1

Not bossy, but stubborn.

As a mature adult, I’m no longer stubborn, of course, I’m just, let’s say, tenacious.

03.03.2026 01:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I will literally eat anything with grill marks on it.

03.03.2026 01:08 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

I don’t know what that is, but I’m excited! 🥳

03.03.2026 01:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The best cookout I ever had was when I was living in Maine, burgers, dogs, grilled lobster. Grilled peaches with vanilla ice cream for dessert.

03.03.2026 01:10 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I will literally eat anything with grill marks on it.

03.03.2026 01:08 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Can’t rule anything out in these crazy times.

Anyway, slumber party at Clau’s, I’ll bring the graham crackers and chocolate

03.03.2026 01:05 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

A possibility, at least.

03.03.2026 01:00 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Damn right, girl.

03.03.2026 00:54 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Posts by Goose (@augustagoose.bsky.social)