Rumaan Alam

Imagine you went to someone’s house for dinner and they were like ok here’s your fried chicken and here’s some vanilla ice cream to dip it in. I’d call the police

Today at the gym I saw a commercial for a fast food meal of fried chicken meant to be dipped in ice cream. I also saw a woman using a laptop on the treadmill. Both of these made me feel v sad

Forgive the weather “joke” it’s just that without “humor” about this I’m left only with “suicidal”

This snow is an industry plant. Never heard of it til yesterday now it’s all anyone is talking about. I call bullshit

I didn’t expect to die like… climbing Everest or something… but I’m going to be so annoyed if this is how I die, watching tv in bed or reading a literary novel from the 1990s

I have been in bed for six weeks and im starting to truly lose my mind. Ive read 13 novels and watched five seasons of murder she wrote and I’m truly out of ideas on how to divert myself

Yikes

James Wolcott · What you can get away with: Updike Reconsidered Betwixt and between is a strange place for any major writer to be more than a decade and a half after their death, and...

So good

💔Bud Cort 1948 – 2026

It was very moving somehow. She was talking to me and about me at once. She liked my hat. It was strangely validating

i was going upstairs at the bookstore, and a toddler and her father were coming down. she was holding three books, stepping slow in winter boots, then dropped everything and looked up and said of me: "he has a pink hat." maybe it's bc i'm worried i'm dying but i found this almost unbearably moving

Police Repeatedly Shoot Tim Cook After Mistaking iPhone For Gun

Police Repeatedly Shoot Tim Cook After Mistaking iPhone For Gun https://theonion.com/police-repeatedly-shoot-tim-cook-after-mistaking-iphone-1824184361/

Current Enthusiasms #27: free associating while watching Murder, She Wrote Earnest recommendations.

Last week I thought I was going to die. I didn’t. I watched some tv instead.

This weird water marker thing is kind of magic (and mess proof). Esp effective for my kids bc they’d never seen one before the flight

my brother said the same thing about this store, i'm gonna try it. baby spinach is just not the same as the real deal?!!?!

Oh that’s interesting and also surprising? I’ll try! I know Korean green grocers often have it but it’s wild how neither Wegmans nor fresh direct nor Whole Foods reliably do

They’re too manly for me. I’m a delicate iron deficient man

Where is spinach this is like the dominance of baby carrots why do we love baby food so I want a big thick sandy head of spinach that will turn into one nutritious tbsp when I saute it not a plastic box of delicate leaves

Baby spinach has almost wholly supplanted spinach in Brooklyn groceries. I haven’t seen spinach in ages. Baby spinach is for babies I’m an iron deficient man

This was after he said he was gonna marry his mom

My nephew just said boys can’t marry boys

There are two other gay novelists who live near me and literally every time I leave the house I see one of them. Today I told one of them this and that I’m worried we don’t all actually exist, that we might all be shades of the same person. He agreed this is worrisome

I’m leaving. I cannot handle this

They are sitting right next to me. I have never hated a party at a restaurant more than these people and their dog I’m really at a loss for words

I am at a quite nice or at any rate very expensive restaurant in manhattan and there is a couple here with their DOG? American society is sick about pets but if you have to take your dog out to dinner I’m sorry but get a fucking life

hamnet was a very confusing movie?! first of all it's pronounced hamLet. second why does shakespeare's WIFE act like she's never been to the live theater? third why does paul mescal not take his shirt off more

We are on the right side of history here

I remember rooting for the child catcher

My older teen was describing something bad and said it was “federal” presumably derived from federal offense but wow

Chatting with a friend I said “chihuly is kaws for baby boomers” and it was so apt that I wish I had occasion to publish this statement so I’m sharing it here