James Young

It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.

Cigarettes used to be cheap enough that you could give a whole pack out to each trick or treater instead of just one or two loosies. Failed fucking empire

ive had this in my head all day but now it’s LOUD

M A M D A N I

@rachelle82.bsky.social testing testing testing

I’d like to remind y’all that this was an organic moment. That’s why the sound quality isn’t great. This was an organic moment that happens every day but this day just happened to have the perfect backing track.

Greta Thunberg wearing a keffiyeh and a black t-shirt with a skeleton dual-wielding assault rifles and the word "AUTISM"

nothing but respect for my Antichrist

A hotdog and pretzel stand with large hanging bottles of mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise. The bottoms contain squeeze tubes to dispense the condiments.

I have been traveling and today I present to you...the thing I saw in the Frankfurt airport.

Is it efficient? Undeniably. Does it probably work better than the normal way? Oh certainly. Produce less of a mess? Probably?

But the existence of Condiment Udders gives me a deep, aghast disquiet.

My mistake, you are correct! I generated the file, but I did not give you a download link — let me go get it for you [pretends to walk down stairs behind couch]

the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist

Detective Columbo stands behind a wooden table with two irregular cow tools in it. He holds a 3rd cow tool and looks at it with his other hand scratching his head. He says, "Gee these tools are really something, aren't they? Y'know, my wife, she says they lack sophistication. But I just think that adds to the charm... Say... Don't they usually come in a set of four?" Caption below the panel reads, "Cowlumbo tools."

POV: you've committed the perfect crime, disposed of the weapon and and hidden the body, but now you arrive back at your pasture to find you are well and truly fucked.

a jazz club named "Club Gombe" with a chimpanzee band going nuts on stage and more chimps hooting and hollering at the tables. one empty table has a card on it reading "reserved for Jane Goodall"

BRAND NEW Far Side from Gary Larson just dropped

edited comic panel. Batman is breaking a lump-with-handle cow tool over his knee and saying "this is the tool of the cow. we do not understand it. we will not use it."

it's not FOR us

I support everyone giving vast sums of money to Andrew Cuomo. It’s the “lighting a million quid on fire” art piece but this time performed by the worst people in the world.

Tweet from Adrian Bott @Cavalorn 'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

this tweet turns 10 today 🎂🥳

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA NATIONAL TRANSPORTATION SAFETY BOARD ***************** Investigation of: LOSS OF THE SUBMARINE TITAN IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC OCEAN ON JUNE 18, 2023 * * * * * * Accident No.: *********** * * * * * * Interview of: Co-designer/Pilot Deepsea Challenger DCA23FM036 via Microsoft Teams Friday, July 26, 2024

INTERVIEW OF 10 BY LCDR 11 Q. So how did you get yourself started into submersible 12 operations? 13 A. Well, I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic. When I 14 set down the path to make that film, the first thing that I did 15 was arrange to be introduced to the head of the submersible 16 program at the P.P. Shirshov Institute in Moscow, a guy named 17| Professor I. I did that through a mutual friend 18 of ours, a guy named , who is one of the preeminent underwater cinematographers in the world. And had been on a 20 submersible expedition out to Titanic the previous year with the 21 Russians. And that was organized by a Canadian company that was 22 doing an IMAX film which was released under the title Titanica.

Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."

"some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily execute civilians" says today's New York Times, continuing their long tradition of whitewashing fascism

Absolute all-timer sentence in today's @nytimes.com

Two photos of Sigourney Weaver wearing a skirt, tweed jacket and red turtleneck reclining on a sofa with a pumpkin

lfg, cont.

Les hasn't been given the opportunity but he is this stupid. And chonky. Not even lying. His density is somehow British bulldog.

zeldawilliams 20m From Create Mode •• Please, just stop sending me AI videos of Dad. Stop believing I wanna see it or that I'll understand, I don't and I won't. If you're just trying to troll me, I've seen way worse, i'll restrict and move on. But please, if you've got any decency, just stop doing this to him and to me, to everyone even, full stop. It's dumb, it's a waste of time and energy, and believe me, it's NOT what he'd want. To watch the legacies of real people be condensed down to 'this vaguely looks and sounds like them so that's enough, , just so other people can churn out horrible TikTok slop puppeteering them is maddening. You're not making art, you're making disgusting, over-processed hotdogs out of the lives of human beings, out of the history of art and music, and then shoving them down someone else's throat hoping they'll give you a little thumbs up and like it. Gross.

And for the love of EVERYTHING, stop calling it 'the future. Al is just badly recycling and regurgitating the past to be reconsumed. You are taking in the Human Centipede of content, and from the very very end of the line, all while the folks at the front laugh and laugh, consume and consume.

Daughter of Robin Williams, Zelda Williams 💔

This from @govpritzker.illinois.gov on @cnn.com

A diagram of skeletons that sort of looks like a beach (with one skeleton on a towel and shells nearby) and I have added the words BEACH PARTY in red.

Old floppy drive with printed label 'Works, but makes Sad Noises'

Got my performance review.

Illustration of three people standing on a hill beneath a huge orange sun. Large black text at the top reads: ‘It’s a Beautiful Day to Yell At God.’ One figure raises their arms and shouts ‘WHAT THE FUCK?’ while another says ‘COME OUT! WE JUST WANNA TALK.’ Bold text in the corner says ‘FACE US YOU COWARD.’

Happy Rosh Hashanah y'all.

Someone was trying to take a portrait of their two fave Chickens, and this happened.

Mark Zuckerberg presenting his Pervert Glasses for perverts

I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius