Mike

I feel like any LLM, even a poorly-promoted one, would be light-years more coherent than this

agree

🙃

I think the word they were searching for is “presumed” (or similar) but like who the FUCK reviewed and approved this??

I mean this phrasing and grammar is WORSE than an LLM, somehow

what in the fuck

losing my fuckin mind over here man

“the enemy gets a vote” is fake and woke apparently

…among other issues here, for an adversary to surrender they need to have a leader who is *credibly able to offer it* on behalf of their military/people/state. A leader who is—and I can’t stress this enough—not dead.

“…people are like ‘they’re not that great’ and you’re like ‘no they’re amazing they’re just misunderstood’”

I’m in this video and I don’t like it

Astros: in a cult

…shit

Your mental illness based on fav MLB team

Orioles: trauma bonded

Red Sox: borderline personality disorder

this tracks (cc @callmemrwiggles.bsky.social)
www.instagram.com/reel/DVex5vX...

as one does

The phone lockers sit in the hallways outside (almost) every door so if you can just pop out and check it if you need to

The catch is 95% of the building has dogshit reception so everyone clusters in the same handful of spots along the e ring lol

It’s all No Fun Zone tbf

For the latest Time cover story titled "Trump's War," which was published on Thursday, March 5, correspondent Eric Cortellessa questioned Trump about the details of the unfolding war with Iran. In a pointed moment, he was asked whether it's reasonable for Americans to have concerns about being attacked at home.

"I guess," Trump, 79, responded. "But I think they're worried about that all the time. We think about it all the time. We plan for it. But yeah, you know, we expect some things." "Like I said, some people will die," the president added. "When you go to war, some people will die."

just zero sense of “other people exist” whatsoever

Astros' Jeremy Peña has fractured finger tip, will miss WBC Houston Astros All-Star shortstop Jeremy Peña will miss the World Baseball Classic with a broken right ring finger.

GOD DAMN IT THE WBC IS CURSED
www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/...

…imma stop you right there, @npr.org … Markwayne can’t just “step in as acting secretary” please refer to 5 USC § 3345 www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/...

Sorry boss, I can't work, I'm watching Kristi Noem do a press conference and she doesn't know she's been shitcanned

yeah savor it lol

I think you’ve earned it

he’s gonna have to duel the veep like Alex Hamilton

DHS HR: “look it clearly says right here in paragraph 6.9. — ‘the Secretary’ … nowhere in here does it specify a name or an individual, so the duty is to the *position*…”

COREY: 😐

at least one person here is old enough to get it

NOT GONNA WORK HERE NOEM-ORE

I am pleased to announce that the Highly Respected United States Senator from the Great State of Oklahoma, Markwayne Mullin, will become the United States Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS), effective March 31, 2026. The current Secretary, Kristi Noem, who has served us well, and has had numerous and spectacular results (especially on the Border!), will be moving to be Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas, our new Security Initiative in the Western Hemisphere we are announcing on Saturday in Doral, Florida. I thank Kristi for her service at "Homeland."

NOEM NO MORE

none of the decision makers has that long of an attention span

All part of the Full Glow-Up Package™️ you get here Kevin 🛁🧼

“radical narco-communism and narco-tyranny that threaten our people, borders, and sovereign lands in the name of a false sovereignty or false peace”

I’m sorry but what the fuck does that even mean, this is just noise-shaped air

a 4.9 earthquake in … fucking Louisiana?

@mikeblack114.bsky.social wyd over there