Beeves, but over here

Girlhood is figuring out how to have a nice little time with your friends while you try to exist between a pedestal and a microscope

Womanhood is the power and freedom you feel once you escape both

We live in the people that remember us

This means you will never be gone,
and you will never be alone

I love spooky season cause every year we get a new handful of normies who realize dressing up like a weirdo is something they simply can’t limit to one day a year

Yessss join usssss become the freaky little alt kid you were always meant to be 🖤🖤

There are people who idly wonder why you never do the things you say you want to do.. and then there are the people who help you do them

Deep down you know you could have been as nice to them as they wanted.

But deep down you also know they didn’t deserve that.

All this sci fi that assumes women will get progressively more obsessed with surgery and drugs that make us look young and skinny feels very written-by-a-man

We all know that when cosmetic surgery tech really takes off we’re getting hooves and elf ears and prehensile snake tongues and fairy wings

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she realizes that for every stupid nitpicky negging locker room boy there was a woman who thought she was perfect but DIDNT SAY ANYTHING

This is a CTA lesbians need to be louder please

If you have to delicately curate the right space for someone to act like they care about you, they don’t

Late stage burnout is when you’re having significant health symptoms that are only explained by stress, but you think you’re not stressed

Babe get outta there you are
SO STRESSED ACTUALLY

There is not enough yoga and running and PTO to regulate your body if your job is just cortisol

Don’t waste your mind on someone who’s resentful that you “disappeared” but never tried to get in touch

The level of toxicity that will come out of a man when you ask him to consider the impact of his actions is truly staggering

The hottest woman you’ve ever seen in real life: “omg I wanna tell this person I like them but what if that’s weird and awkward and they hate me”

A man who’s a scant 3 if you’re drunk enough: “HEY GIRL U MARRIED?”

Men will really say the most dipshit bong rip nonsense and then when you’re like “hey I think maybe that’s not true, here’s… supported facts” they’re like “omg why are you attacking me”

*slaps roof* yep I rebuilt this baby so now she runs on just pure feminine rage

*gazes somberly into window* she is very, very tired

The moment you start being your unfiltered self is the moment you confuse and alienate 99% of people — and also the moment you get the attention of the 1% who will become your family

Hear me out: a country jukebox musical in which “Jesus Take the Wheel” and “Daddy Let Me Drive” are part of the same conversation

Quit planning on making your kid live the dreams you couldn’t and start getting excited to style yourself when you look like your mom

Nothing will humble you like achieving something really hard that you’re super proud of and then meeting someone who did the exact same thing while going through opiate withdrawals

Like oh damn I forgot I had the difficulty set to casual

Can’t date casually and honestly can’t really friend casually either

I just have a phone full of ride-or-die bitches I would crawl through hell for and then people I don’t talk to anymore

No time for people who call a stranger ugly

You’re projecting very loud sweetie

You tell them they’re gorgeous right now or get out of the way so the rest of us can

Can you imagine how upsettingly hot everyone would be if they stopped dressing to avoid bullying from the shittiest straight people

It would be too powerful

Listen I think it’s very healthy for us to be shutting down the idea of cringe but also this joke format:

👇
Urgent Care overbilled me — I call it URCHIN Care!
State Farm? More like SNAKE Farm!
Elon Musk? How bout EELon MUSKRAT!
👆

Please for the love of fuck stop doing this

If the Constitution had been written at 1am in a girls’ bathroom this country would be on the right track

People who smoke: is it a real tradition that someone has to kiss the cigarette to make it a lucky or was that girl hitting on me

@The Reelin’ Rogues TikTok video by BeevesOfTime

Hey y’all my buddy’s in a real bad spot, I need your help. Donations are amazing but every view helps.

www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8kVx7Fb/

Men really will say shit like “just so you know I think all this Epstein stuff is disgusting”

…as if they’re gonna get special boi brownie points for being brave enough to condemn literal child s^x trafficking?

Do you want me to clap?

Hey team are we ready as a culture to discuss the fact that socially expecting & pressuring young women to flirt back with other women “platonically” is actually not creating a “safer space” than the one where we expected them to flirt back with older men

Still weird actually

If a parent can’t afford to have the job because of the poor pay, poor benefits and shit schedule, then the job should not exist.

If a parent couldn’t have the job, fix the job.

As an art school graduate who deeply values art — truly artists piss me off sometimes

“Yeah I spent the last entire year of my life meticulously covering every surface of a house in graphite to make a statement about objects empathy”

Cool… a lot of people needed help with a lot of shit bud

If the only experiences you’re having are Experiences™️ that were designed to be sold to you, you’re actually just a blood pack for the economy.

Please live an actual life.