Toki’s Thoughts

I really wanna be friends still, but ever since he came in the picture you’ve made it feel like I’m a roadblock for you. I’m not even that anymore and you still won’t talk to me. I can’t tell if you even dislike me or not

Lowkey shitty day but we thug it out

Actions and words mean a lot to me, especially together. So does the lack thereof

Can’t sleep so mind is racing

This feels better here tbh, not many people know I’m over in bsky and tbh I’d like to keep it that way. At least those I interact with I don’t think would care enough to look for me so, win-win I guess

I want to laugh with others, I want them to be proud of me. I’m building a lot for myself but it’s hard to not undermine it when the same things seem so trivial to others. I finally got a car of my own, huge for me, stuff like that.

I don’t really feel like people want me around. I reach out and reach out but the same effort is not given back, even with those I THINK I have some sort of connection with. I must be wrong

It’s really hard to gauge how much my “friends” really care. One thing leads to another, very extreme hypothetical thoughts flow in, many ‘what ifs’. It’s something I think about a lot. I already don’t really like myself, the lack of people around me consistently make it more believable

Obv I didn’t plan making this account here. I feel distant from everyone, very distant. I want to share my achievements and joy with others hoping they’d do the same but it almost feels somewhat undermined when I try. Idk if I’m just not an interesting person to be around or what but, it sucks

Figured I’d throw this acc out here on bsky. I have a hard time talking directly to people about my feelings but just putting them out there and feeling heard can be enough sometimes and I’d at least like to start doing that again