Alternate Squatch

One billion percent don’t wear the shirt

Younger me would spend hours downloading porn on dial-up and still hardly ever hit the jackpot (for me: seeing a beardy guy with a cock in his mouth)

Now I can see a dozen of those every day on here without even trying. Living in the future is magic.

Still one of the most handsome men on the internet

That’s Sasquatch with a qu

I think you need to get data by testing it with as many locals as possible.

Now it has

I volunteer if you ever have guests on!

Yeah it’s not being an attention whore when you’re packing that. It’d be wrong *not* to show it to everyone.

Now I’m regretting I didn’t see you in person!

They had a clothes check there; you should’ve checked your briefs!

Mercy. 🥵

Cubs telling me they’ll help me meet my needs helps me meet my needs!

Thanks! I’m starting to think Bluesky doesn’t even appreciate how much I want attention.

That’s exactly what they seemed to be having trouble with. One of them said he could “turn my head around like in the Exorcist” and I just felt sorry for them. I hope they figure it out eventually.

Happy to help! I have an assortment of warm dark places.

You need somebody like me there to make sure it doesn’t spend too much time exposed to the sun.

Sigh… I am a fan.

Somehow just the hint of mutton chops is the sexiest thing I’ve seen today

Thanks! It needs a trim but I think I’m going to give it a few more weeks.

Dang! There’s a lucky bottom.

I mean as long as you’re offering

Highlights from that video of you dick-slapping me in the face that we still need to make

Thanks, Daddy! You’re always looking fine.

That wouldn’t have made such a mess if you’d just done that in my butt.

Can’t really tell from this crop, I’d need to see further down.

Both are good, but big beards are pretty common while a mustache like yours is unique.

Thanks. I’m glad that it’s got significance for you! You wear it really well.

If you don’t mind my asking, how old were you when you got the nose ring? I mark off major birthdays by getting something pierced and I’m running out of places to put holes.

Well…?!? What does he choose? Does the nurse help?!

Good! I’ll see how much I’m here for them, I guess :)