Angel ✨

It’s especially funny when they happen to be a vtuber with animal ears and tail but NO they’re not a DISGUSTING furfag or anything, THAT would be CRINGE lololol *makes an ableist “joke”*

The moment some non-furry YouTuber tries to be funny by acting like furries are “””cringe””” and that’s it that’s the whole “””joke””” I immediately am turned off to their content so hard

This is what hurts the most tbh. To be fucked up over someone and they just. Do fine. Maybe they’re even happier without you there.

They just go about their lives like you were never a part of it and like your absence in it makes zero difference to them

It’s fucked up that people can just leave your life and hurt you so deeply and then go on like nothing happened while you’re still in agony because of them

Idk, like… I just don’t feel the urge to seek that out unless I’m in a bad state…

Nudes of like. Idk how to say this. Like people on here or something doesn’t count, I mean like. Seeking out a porn site.

Realizing that if I ever want to look at like. Irl porn that’s how you know I’m not doing good mentally I think

And I know they liked info dump type stuff cause they talked about it all the time but I guess I was too much
Again

I’ll still never forget the mutual I had who asked me about one of my ocs and then when I info dumped about them literally never responded to me

Today makes my crushing lack of community felt so pointedly. We could really use a place to crash, even just for a day. But we have no one. Not a single soul to call on when we’re in need. No one close to help. We are on an island.

Nothing is ever going to get better
I cannot stop this spiral
Every minor thing that could possibly go right gets fucked up somehow
I don’t know how to keep going I really really don’t

Fighting with myself. Just want to let Onyx front. Still trying to stream. Don’t know why. Don’t see a point. Would rather just disappear and let Onyx have all of our time. Show up only when explicitly asked for. Would be nice. I’m tired of being main fronter. Tired of being host. Done. Very done.

I tried to make an ao3 account and there was a waiting list and I don’t think I ever got an email about it so I guess I just try again… I’d love to focus on writing cause it’s way easier for me to do than draw and I’m much more motivated to do it

What do people think “toxic yaoi/yuri” means? “Ohhh there’s a minor power imbalance, it’s soooo toxic~” bitch you would fold so fast under rhe shit I write

this is Onyx's art and account btw this is who was talking earlier.. i think their art is the best that this body can produce for the most part and it actually feels good for her to draw so im just done

i think im gonna give up on growth and most things in general and i think i'm gonna just stream ffxiv cause i love that game and idc what gets attention anymore nothing matters and i think im gonna give up on art and let Onyx draw exclusivley cause he actually has fun doing it

🖤: I'm not even the one who does comms, so money isn't even a factor for me. It would just feel nice to make something and feel like other people like it, too. Like maybe what I make is worthy of interest.

🖤: I, personally, don't make art for attention. I just love the process and I end up with something I like. But I can't keep pretending that it doesn't hurt to share something that I worked hard on and have very little attention on it...

it feels like a disservice to anyone who has ever helped me, but i really don't see the point in trying

i really wanna give up on everything

as someone who has fun money to spend SO rarely it always hurts my heart to see artists i love do their merch exclusively through limited time pre-order only runs. like.. i love their stuff and i will never be able to get any of it because i never have money to spend

i'm realizing that my main issue is a lack of passion
like, in general
but what hurts is when i do have passion for something and it still flops

I’d love to never have a period ever again and be able to let people cum in me without consequence

Genuinely if I could guarantee that I wouldn’t get std or pregnant I would seek out more opportunities to just let people fuck me if they wanted to. I should get a hysto

I just want to be humped for hours it’s such a calming and relaxing experience for me

I need to be like, set up at a party free use style

I need to update my ref… 🐉

I hate getting really horny and being triggered by it

This has been the message from the universe since I was fucking born. Every moment of my life has been a struggle of some kind. It is a constant fight just to exist. Why.

I’m always too much and I just should not exist