Astrid 🌹

*yawns*

buncha weirdos in this city, innit? #art #pokemon #legendsZA

Im no longer able to be seen as reliable in the eyes of my cosplay friends and i haven’t had any motivation to make new plans, fix my situation, or even get out of bed in the morning. I chug 3 5hour energies a day just to distract my mind and keep me going

I’ve been involved in a group cosplan and at the very last minute my financial situation took a nose dive into the deep end. I became unable to keep the promises i made and no matter how much i tried i couldn’t dig myself out in time regardless of the fact i work nearly 24/7 now.

As it may seem wether you’ve been following my instagram activity or not, i have not been feeling well mentally for quite some time now and about a couple weeks ago it completely plummeted.

I don’t know where to go from here, but obviously this long road requires dedication and i need to stay away from the people i care about until i’m no longer seen as a destructive person to others or myself. I’ll still check in periodically and i don’t plan on canceling any plans i’ve already made.

I hate pity, i hate behaving this way, and if i could simple stop i would. My brain is running laps in my head and i keep hurting the exact same people that i made a promise to protect and treat better as i try to keep up and slow it down to a reasonable pace. I’ve let so many people down.

So, we’re at that point again. As you’ve probably been noticing by my behavior i am no longer at a mentally stable point again. There is no one to blame, but myself for this instability and as much as i know it means nothing to some people, i’m sorry.

I know a major flaw with me in relationships is that i can never 100% trust someone and i do want to change that, but it feels hard when the odds are always in favor of my negative thoughts. Does anyone know of a way to start allowing myself to trust people again?

I owe a few people some major apologies, i have only been destructive these past few days and assuming the absolute worst. Hopefully sometime soon i can do right and properly apologize.

Back to square one.

Bluesky profile with “live now” indicator

We’re testing a new feature! Starting this week, select accounts can add a livestream link to sites like YouTube or Twitch, and their Bluesky profile will show they’re live now.

WHY DOES THE IRS CHARGE YOU MORE WHEN YOUR CARD DECLINES, HUH?!?!?!?!?!

Meow meow meow

People think I’m crushing on someone, but dawg, the only thing i’m crushing are my own expectations

Thank you for all your support and hopefully we’ll all be laughing on stream again soon 💙🖤

At this time there is no eta when i will be streaming again, nor any eta as to when i may cosplay again, i’m taking a break to focus on my mental and physical health which i completely forgot about over the course of the past month.

Over the past month i’ve been attempting to reflect on some parts of me that i forgot about and the overwhelming regret of certain actions has been eating me alive. I do plan on coming back, but plans have changed and it’s not going to be the same.

Ok, to start off, i want to apologize to everyone who was awaiting the stream come back, i’ve made a few new mistakes and because of those mistakes i haven’t been able to find the motivation to get things prepared for streaming again.

It may hurt now, but don’t worry, we’ll be alright 🖤

Anyway, streaming coming back soon, i miss playing games live with ya’ll and i need something to distract me from my life 🤣

Ugh i hate when I’m this tired, i’ll do dumb shit and then wake up the next morning feeling like shit

Still sad that gura graduated 😭

Honestly i miss being in a relationship, i miss being told that everything’s ok and that i’m loved.

soooooo, single again, huh...

Last might my co-worker cane to the back and told me “what if pepsi made a pepperoni flavor and called it pepsironi?”

…
Safe to say i sent him back to counter faster than i’ve ever sent anyone to a station 🤣

I crave chicken noodle soup

yyyyyeah maybe we shouldn’t just “relax”

euphoric photo of dolphins jumping under a rainbow

this is how it feels to reach 30 MILLION users!!!