Jokes and Lies

There’s a fee for everything. I’m tired.

KFC knew they was wrong for snatching these offa the menu. 😤

You'll have to force yourself to wash your own ass sometimes

Dreamt I was on a date with Sterling K. Brown. We were eating good, dancing, and laughing. I’m so sad it was just a dream

🌑🦗 fixed it

👋🏼🪰

My problem is I wanna take my cat on every trip with me

Omg my credit score dropped by 40 points when they removed my student loans

Is my Christmas tree still up? Yes. Idk when I’ll have the energy to take it down. I gotta save what energy I do have for working out, cooking, and going to work lol

Now why did we just start shaking again

Just had an earthquake in San Francisco. Nova felt the couch shaking and took off running.

It’s small in here…
Nah, you big in here

😬

If it was nighttime and just me and you in the gym, I’d leave lmao 🫶🏼

I think I look 37, but a GOOD 37. However, it still feels nice when ppl think I look 27-30.

And do teehee

I be screaming with the hands to match when she says, “tellin me your mama said I’m not what you need. Tell you what, since she knows it all, then that’s where you need to be”

a bald man wearing a black turtleneck and a suit is smiling and looking at the camera . ALT: a bald man wearing a black turtleneck and a suit is smiling and looking at the camera .

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you

... you have my word

"bypassing traditional milestones" is a funny way of saying that most of us can't afford to buy a house with multiple jobs, won't have children because we can't afford them, most of our degrees are useless, and we are the poorest generation among all current living generations

It’s almost 8pm and I haven’t had one bite to eat

I’ve been down so bad mentally that edibles actually make it WORSE. I haven’t had an edible in 3 months

Thanks for reminding me that it happened. Excited to watch later

Lmaooo this one of my fav videos

Clarissa explained none of this.

My student loan balance finally hit $0.00. I qualified for PSLF in November but it was still showing a balance until now

These are the lemons that life gives you

You ain’t never lied. I’m exhausted