Halloumi :0

Little reminder for yall

BOOOOO HEY EVERYONE LAUGH AT THE AI ARTIST BOOOOO 🫵🫵🫵🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

Love how the internets first reaction to DJT not blatantly disregarding the constitution for a week is “holy shit he’s dead”

Oh I’m alive btw

Got the wrong fucking train

We’re closer to 2050 than the year 2000. The passage of time is FUCKED

Just had a dream that I was playing miitopia and the enemy cast “white superiority.” In response my mii got angry and shouted “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” My companion mii (bob ross) responded by casting “happy little knife”

i pretend coffee helps but i still wanna set everything on fire.

Sometimes I think about how Harry Potter has an insta-bondage spell and we just let JK Rowling get away with that

I’ve got a tummy ache rn and honest to god I’d rather chop off a finger than put up with ts

If I was immortal I’d blow my skull open with a 12 gauge shotgun in front of people I don’t like. To be fair I’d probably do that anyway

She tell me she has a corruption fetish so I take her to any US governmental building

(this one was lazy I’ll figure out a better way to make a leftist commentary on society through sex joke tomorrow. I’m sorry for the poor material)

Allergies are so insane cause why my body just decide “oh shit this things bad. We’re going to LITERALLY KILL YOU NOW” like dude?? The peanuts aren’t the dangerous thing here, you’re just having a crash out over nothing and IM the one suffering!! Why? Why nuts??? What did they do wrong???

There are only 3 genders. You got: lil puppy dog, lil kitty cat, and lil funny bunny rabbit. Tag yourself in the bunny

I’M GOING TO SHIT YOUR PANTS

You have two wolves inside of you.. that’s probably why your tummy hurts all the time.

Y’all ever have an intrusive thought then worry that a telepath is in the area and SEVERELY judging you.

“What if I reached for that officers gun and shot this place up… OHSHITOHFUCKOHSHIT”

The more I think about it the more I realize that the fae would THRIVE on the internet. Dealing with a troll? Nope, that’s a fae creature and it’s successfully siphoned your energy.

Petition to change the label “asexuality” to “sexualn’t”

SittingfullyclothedinanemptybathtubquestioningifimworththeairibreatheandcontemplatingtheabsolutelyterrifyingfuturerealizingthatevenifiWANTEDtoliveidontthinkidbeabletogetpastlike30-core I’m not suicidal. But that’s only for the people who care about me. If they were gone I’d be too

Mondays amirite?

I love recreational gaslighting. Like I wouldn’t use it for any malicious purpose BUT I managed to convince my biology teacher that mice use echolocation and that’s pretty fucking funny

The levels of dumbassery that the first thing I thought of when I saw this image was that mitosis looks like boobies. Face the corner honestly I need to think about my actions

You ask the time, I pull out a granite 25 square ft 4.4 metric ton sundial, I inspect it carefully and inform you that it’s nighttime so idk

You’re up late jerking off, I’m up late pondering my orb, we are not the same.

Elections should be done like the masked singer.

after a background check literally anyone can run and tell their beliefs, policies etc while still masked.

No party system, tournament style. At the end whoever gets the most votes gets unveiled and BAM new president

My votes for robot this year.

Illustrated image divided into four panels, each showing a head of a bat with a text label. Top left: little guy, a regular looking back with a dark face and light colored fur, top right: little guy deluxe, a bat with a mask and large ears alongside a bat with a leaf shaped nose, bottom left: what is even going on here, a visored bat with a large forehead next to a bat with a large, wrinkly nose, bottom right: o hi doggie, a fruit bat with its tongue sticking out.

Contrary to popular belief, there are only four kinds of bats.

Oh nonono it’s not a thing of the people I care about pushing me to pay them back, it’s a deep-rooted anxiety that I am a leech on society and deserve none of the good things in my life /hj (I’m being satirical mostly I promise)

I absolutely refuse to let people do nice things for me “oh I can pay for lunch dw about it :)” I’m killing myself right then and there!! Wrap it up gang because god FORBID I owe anyone anything ever

I love baldurs gate 3 so much because the whiplash between fighting and defeating the messiah of the god of death to getting jumped by a gnome in a doppleganger circus within the span of 20 minutes is so fucking funny #bg3 #spoilers

Idk who needs to hear this but staying in a bad relationship “for the kids” sucks ass. As a child of divorce I can confidently say that having parents that are split up is infinitely better than having parents who SHOULD be split up.

Children shouldn’t be the wires holding a relationship together.

Been here a whole week and no one has told me to kms. Not even sure if this really the internet