Divyaswor Makai

What do you call a small mother?

A minimum.

What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist, and Vlad the Impaler have in common?

Same middle name.

What's the difference between a politician and a pig?

They're spelled different.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was odd.

Why would a future pornstar end up being on the cover of her high school yearbook?

She was voted Most Likely To Suck Seed

Why do Catholics smell so good?

Because of all the popery.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does,

please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Orion's Belt isn't all that great.

It's just a huge waist of space.

I used to have a stepladder at my job, but it disappeared.

Just like my real ladder.

Have you guys heard the latest scandal that Musk misappropriated Tesla funds to pay for penis enlargement surgery?

The press is calling it Elongate.

In communist China, government tell you what can and can't say.

In capitalist America, government decide what corporation tell you what you can and can't say.

My boss calls me a “the computer”

because I fall asleep when unattended after 15 minutes.

Why is Dwayne Johnson the only man who can turn lesbians?

Because Rock beats scissors

Why does America not use the metric system?

Because they have a foot fetish.

So a pasta salesman walks up to a pimp and tries to trade product for sex. He says...

"Penne for your thots?"

When I was interviewed for a job, I was told I would start at $2,000 a month, and then after six months, I’d get $2,500 a month.

I told her I would start in six months.

Me and another cook were in a heated debate about how our new salad should be presented.

We got fired for chopping it up.

I asked my friend why he only wore his N95 in church.

He said that his doctor had told him to wear his mask religiously.

How did the burglar enter the house?

He got intruda-window.

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. I said…

That would be a big step forward.

I used to confuse orgasm and organic.



But now the difference comes naturally.

Relationships are like algebra.

Sometimes I’ll look at the X and wonder Y.

What has ears but never listens?

A corn field…….

The government decided to phase out coins in our currency today.

This country just has no cents anymore.

My doctor told me to put an end to drinking brake fluid

I told him I can stop anytime

What sound does a clock in America make?

None, because there is no more Tik Tok!

Son: "Dad, what's a forklift?"

Dad: "Food, usually."

Why did Mufasa die in the stampede?

He was moving too slow, he needed to Mufasa

Which NBA team has the lowest payroll?

Milwaukee; they only pay 15 Bucks.

I like TikTok how I like my coffee.

Dark