Lassoism - For the love of Ted Lasso

A father and son are in a car wreck. Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. A surgeon walks in and says, "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." How is it possible? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Hey, uh, thank you, guys, so much for taking my picture. What are your names? / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Hey, Siri. Play the "Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley" playlist. / Ted Lasso S02E07 Headspace #TedLasso

You don't know who I am, but I'm looking for someone who likes short walks on the beach, so we can spend more time, you know... / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

One of the goals got disallowed because apparently nine-year-olds aren't allowed to do headers yet. Fu$king brain development. / Ted Lasso S02E02 Lavender #TedLasso

Just want to tell you how I'm feeling. Try to make you understand. / Ted Lasso S02E10 No Weddings and a Funeral #TedLasso

Try this on. / Ted Lasso S02E09 Beard After Hours #TedLasso

I was just checking if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Roy: (referring to Dani Rojas) Did you see that? I can't really tell, but it seems like he's very good. / Ted Lasso S01E06 Two Aces #TedLasso

We must ignore these talking faces. Even when they are in our favor. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Release the hounds. [HOWLING] / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Oh, that's great. And that's all the single players, you say? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Roy: Why do you only sleep with a top on? Jamie: Because I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Okay. Now the lamb chugs a Cafka mini and poof, turns into a smoking hot lion. / Ted Lasso S03E02 (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea #TedLasso

(About his puns) Well, it's tough. Sometimes I just see 'em there, and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

You know what they say when you assume, Trent? You make an arse outta you and me. / Ted Lasso S01E06 Two Aces #TedLasso

Ted: Nathan Shelley, I present to you this whistle. But it is sad. Do you know why? Because it has never been blown.
Nathan: Is that the same reason why Colin's sad? / Ted Lasso S01E10 The Hope that Kills You #TedLasso

Rebecca: Hopefully Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig will do their puppet show again.
Ted: That sounds like double-O heaven to me. / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso

Well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Uh, so I don't shake hands. But I have someone who does. Uh, Francis. / Ted Lasso S02E11 Midnight Train to Royston #TedLasso

I'm not just a loser, I am the loser. / Ted Lasso S02E02 Lavender #TedLasso

Ted: I thought you ran track in High School?
Coach Beard: Chess Team Coach, Illinois State Champs baby. / Ted Lasso S01E03 Trent Crimm: The Independent #TedLasso

My sister's at the hospital. She works in the emergency room. She can't really pop out 'cause there's always someone coming in with, like, a knife stuck in their eye or a torch stuck up their... / Ted Lasso S02E08 Man City #TedLasso

I just convinced a roomful of Rupert's dickhead friends to pull out of the Akufo League. / Ted Lasso S03E10 International Break #TedLasso

Oi, Will, do you think you could take me name off me shirt and then put it back on but bigger? / Ted Lasso S02E07 Headspace #TedLasso

Well, please let us know if Mr. Kent ever wants the window table. / Ted Lasso S02E05 Rainbow #TedLasso

Nathan: Maybe it's piles.
Coach Beard: I've accepted "aubergine" and "snogging", but "piles" I will not abide. / Ted Lasso S02E05 Rainbow #TedLasso

Coach Beard: Grow up and get over it. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

(singing) Caught in a bad romance Ra-ra-ah-ah-ah Roma-roma-ma. Gaga, ooh-la-la. Want your bad romance. / Ted Lasso S01E07 Make Rebecca Great Again #TedLasso

This is great. I can wrap it around my booze. / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso