Lassoism - For the love of Ted Lasso

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Get my tats. Get that one. It's very important to me. Chinese for "arm". / Ted Lasso S01E05 Tan Lines #TedLasso

Bellhop: Would you like me to show you the various room amenities?
Keeley: No, thank you. My lady and I wanna have a quick shag and a shower before we hit the town tonight. / Ted Lasso S01E07 Make Rebecca Great Again #TedLasso

I saw you with your assistant. Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. Stop f*cking around. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

The violence was quite entertaining, wasn't it? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

We're playing like Italians. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Oh, my. Richmond coming out of the tunnel with a palpable chip on their shoulder. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Another man buying you clothes is infantilizing, yes? / Ted Lasso S02E10 No Weddings and a Funeral #TedLasso

Rebecca: I believe in you, Ted. Ted: And it's intense. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

For Zava! / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

We are not allowed to take drinks to our seats. So if you want to get plastered, we should probably do that now. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

A father and son are in a car wreck. Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. A surgeon walks in and says, "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." How is it possible? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Hey, uh, thank you, guys, so much for taking my picture. What are your names? / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Hey, Siri. Play the "Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley" playlist. / Ted Lasso S02E07 Headspace #TedLasso

You don't know who I am, but I'm looking for someone who likes short walks on the beach, so we can spend more time, you know... / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

One of the goals got disallowed because apparently nine-year-olds aren't allowed to do headers yet. Fu$king brain development. / Ted Lasso S02E02 Lavender #TedLasso

Just want to tell you how I'm feeling. Try to make you understand. / Ted Lasso S02E10 No Weddings and a Funeral #TedLasso

Try this on. / Ted Lasso S02E09 Beard After Hours #TedLasso

I was just checking if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Roy: (referring to Dani Rojas) Did you see that? I can't really tell, but it seems like he's very good. / Ted Lasso S01E06 Two Aces #TedLasso

We must ignore these talking faces. Even when they are in our favor. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Release the hounds. [HOWLING] / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Oh, that's great. And that's all the single players, you say? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Roy: Why do you only sleep with a top on? Jamie: Because I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Okay. Now the lamb chugs a Cafka mini and poof, turns into a smoking hot lion. / Ted Lasso S03E02 (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea #TedLasso

(About his puns) Well, it's tough. Sometimes I just see 'em there, and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know? / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

You know what they say when you assume, Trent? You make an arse outta you and me. / Ted Lasso S01E06 Two Aces #TedLasso

Ted: Nathan Shelley, I present to you this whistle. But it is sad. Do you know why? Because it has never been blown.
Nathan: Is that the same reason why Colin's sad? / Ted Lasso S01E10 The Hope that Kills You #TedLasso

Rebecca: Hopefully Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig will do their puppet show again.
Ted: That sounds like double-O heaven to me. / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso

Well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Uh, so I don't shake hands. But I have someone who does. Uh, Francis. / Ted Lasso S02E11 Midnight Train to Royston #TedLasso