Chris Ward

This is how everyone should get into marketing: as a backwards last result to afford food as a creative. But no one should set out to do it! We need farmers and welders!

I didn’t even message them! They just send these out preemptively now lol

Everyone please stop going to school to be in marketing.

Papa John’s app said my pizza was done at 8 and then they transferred me to DoorDash app who will be here at 9. Love this system.

Whomst approaches

Nothing I’ve written in the first half of my career is easily accessible in physical media. Almost everything I’ve written in the second half in alt weeklies, blogs, etc has disappeared because media companies have deleted it all. Which leaves a bunch of marketing shit I never signed my name to.

There is a boy in a schoolgirl outfit by the Lindbergh Waffle House with a sign that says “I suck at Fantasy Football” and his friends laughing in the parking lot lol. Ohhh the straights…

Someone was talking about Seal and my drunk buddy goes “Hell yeah, Seal. Rose on the Wind, man…he’s a miracle to music.” lol I love pinball league.

*Hitler begins gassing people*

MSNBC: “This is unprecedented.”

Cool! A regular, thoughtful, well-written pinball review column in the wild.

Will today be the day some hero does the thing that needs to be done? Every day, we wait.

Imagine living in Illinois or Missouri in the future and you look at the moon and it’s just more orange cones and construction

Christopher Cross starts playing Sailing and three fire and police trucks go screaming behind him. Welcome to St. Louis, pal!

Inside you there are two wolves…here’s how to get rid of them!

trump has been getting away with raping and stealing so long nobody knows what Teflon is anymore. It would be like if Epstein’s nickname was “The Rolodex Rapist.”

Me when Bob Odenkirk puts a guy’s head through a Stern Iron Maiden pinball machine in the Nobody 2 trailer

When oh god is someone gonna do it. Really, really do it.

Man of the Woods gets Lyme disease

Yes but…A/C was having a hard time keeping up for sure

This is real!!?!!

I wore comfortable sandals lol. It was 98 degrees out.

11a-10p qualifying day 1, 11-5 finals day 2

4 player match play! 🥵

Playing a 27 round pinball tournament with no ball saves on and no outline rubbers has made me a better player. Now it feels like cheating.

The price of beef is way up but luckily I only eat at Taco Bell and McDonald’s

I would love to eat healthier but salads are fucking $25 now

I can’t believe I’ve been moving heavy, giant tubs of physical copies of my past embarrassments around for 20 years

As an ex writer for Wizard, I would!