Chris Ward

Is there anyone more fucking low effort than a middle age straight man on Feeld

If you kill Santa Claus you become Santa Claus

Fuck, Merry, Kill Pedro Pascal Santa Claus and anyone who comes between me and Jodie Foster’s love

If there is a Warner Bros. movie you love and you don't have on physical media then do not hold off getting it while you still can.

“HBO Max is now HBOFlix”

Mandatory merriment

*Adam Driver from Inside Llewelyn Davis runs out of gas on highway*

UH OHHHHH

Fourth of July has hamburgers. Christmas has ham. Halloween has candy. I feel like we should do a food for Thanksgiving next.

Crying on the couch last night listening to Things That I Had Thought Of by @allenpwilliams.bsky.social
I miss you guy!

We’re lucky there’s a family guy

Thank you to the eagle eyed cashier who spotted that I had “forgotten” to scan an expensive but very basic spice in the self checkout where I was working for free. Geez, that might have accidentally gotten into my car! And then into my $15 ground beef free of charge. Great work everyone.

At the grocery store I asked this stock boy where the bread crumbs were and he led me around the entire store with a series of fucking clues!!!

Panera Pro Tip: Pick chips with your 2 for 1 and then say “I meant to pick bread” and they will let you keep both bread and chips (they aren’t supposed to take even unopened chips back). Another tip is just to steal fountain drinks and coffee, no one cares.

And just like that Will Byers became hot lol

In both demeanor and imagination, Gilligan reminds me of an early George Lucas

Good or bad in the end, the most exciting thing about Pluribus is it’s a Blank Check Show from Vince Gilligan.
In for a penny in for a pound on this one.

every day logging on is a race to get a dumb joke off before you read the most terrifying news you’ve ever heard

Winter is when you get to wear the 200 comfortable hoodies around the house from old agencies you can’t wear outside anymore

I’ve gotta think the slop bowl revolt is hugely validating to Patton Oswalt

*movie producer and spouse deciding where to eat*

Wife: How about Qdoba

Producer: That sounds great. But…what if it’s not Qdoba. Just something we are considering exploring is what if it’s Hardee’s

That’s huge! I still can’t understand Wick’s scoring

But team rocking robin and team steve fr fr but has sweet dustin lost his way? Many are saying this

We are watching Stranger Things Season 5 and all the kids are 36 and they all look like they hate each other and/or litigation is pending. It's like saved by the bell the college years. I give it 5 bags of popcorn 🍿 🍿🍿🍿🍿and one upside down turkey 🦃

I’d keep an eye on west county lanes still 👀

Great right?

Heard a bad cover of Last Christmas at Walgreens November 25, 2025

Music outlets have been trying to trick me into worshipping the Replacements and REM for my entire life and barely any of it sticks. They’re fine.