Writing D.C.M.

they say “between the anus and genitals” way too many times in the jardiance commercial

They’re just making up for the unfortunate lack of that phrase in every other commercial

i wanna see the CEO of Captain Crunch Berries eat a spoonful of Captain Crunch Berries without wincing

what would you do for a slightly used klondike bar

SHOULD THE U.S BLOT OUT THE SUN AND USHER IN AN AGE OF ETERNAL DARKNESS? - Gallup 2/20/26-3/5/26

NO - 41%
YES - 38%
UNSURE - 21%

Gander

Let me take a peek
Let me take a gander
Walk on the wild side with me
Through sticky sapped up maple trees
Slowly release their sugary sweet
Let’s lick up this delightful treat
Let’s see take a hike
Through the woods & over the hills
Slick past post bituminous spills
Let’s trek, let’s bike

Sometimes you’re the black hole and sometimes you’re the thing hurtling uncontrollably towards it

It’s also very tough trying to figure out what to do or say when raising little ones.

I’m told “fuck” is often not appropriate but fuck if it isn’t funny.

The craziest thing about taking breaks from social media is coming back on to a world that is very different.

The months often feel like years.

The year is 2027.

I’m watching college basketball.

It’s a close game.

That doesn’t matter.

I’ve got $5,000 running on what happens on the next play The game doesn’t matter. Just this play.

The player who has the ball is a stakes owner in the gambling service I’m using.

Life is weird.

Who knew right. Not I, said the brown cow as he hedged his bets on the opening market a week from Monday.

<what feels like weeks later to *everything ever*>

So being a stay at home dad of two kids is slightly different (i.e. busier and more demanding) than being a stay at home dad of one kid, but the reward of seeing both of them smile so msg times is just permanently etched in my mind. Best job ever.

Silksong difficulty spiking for me rn once you get the ability to silk thread through your own needle and then shoot out to propel yourself forward like some kind of airplane

On a side note I wish I could gain that ability. To weave.

Maybe I should become a seammister

The Virgin Mary, of course, I mutter to myself weeks later because my brain just finally realized if I don’t specify which Mary and so hell it could be some other random chosen Mary

My new profile pic is 1 degree off kilter to counterbalance the 99 degrees off kilter I am rn

I’m sure a lot of women were relieved when Mary said she was chosen but I’m also sure a lot of women were also pissed she got to use that excuse

Deck the hall with deez nutz

it’s my backyard and i’ll pee if i want to

I just killed a bug and said “sorry, buddy” as I flushed him down the toilet

If this post gets 100 likes I'll make another post talking about how it got 100 likes

He loves Frozen and Anna and Elsa. Being an English nerd I’ve taken to the deeper emotions found in the story like of having to deal with a magical creature you created out of the void that can sing

raising 2 kids has me a new kind of tired but one that has been so rewarding in so many ways. It’s also been fun to notice the differences between raising a boy vs a girl, especially as we’ve tried to be so neutral with everything with our son and are more or less doing that with our daughter

i thought of you when i was
gone and i got you a little
thing with your name on it

Posting on BlueSky is always a mixed bag because at any time the majority of users are either reading the life story before a recipe or writing one

Ai company called pAIrenting

Sometimes therapy is a red star talking to a blue star

Playing Christmas music while playing TLOU Part 2 No Return really changes the tone of both those songs and that game

Them: (inspirational) yesterday is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift that’s why they call it the present

Me: aren’t gifts and presents mysteries too

Them: *tossing me into a wooden casket* shhh

I serendipity the fool

shout out to walls and furniture for supporting me when my brain decides it wants to find the floor as quickly as possible