Pete Lynch

The downfall of democracy started in 1995 when ya'll voted blue to replace tan in the M&Ms. They learned we can't be trusted

reposting here bc it’s only on the other site but…
5 years ago, I worked at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Update: The monkey has been elected governor

So I Married an Ax Murderer

I have busted
the ghost
that was in
your hood

and which
you were probably
scared of
and screaming

Forgive me
busting
makes me
feel good

Every golf tip video: "Here's an easy way to stop topping your 3 wood: Make sure 65% of your weight is on the lead foot. Hinge your wrists no less than 22 degrees but no more than 24 degrees. Keep the club head facing the North Star. Then just relax and swing easy!"

Happy National Sons Day to all sons who have joined their family business, allowing it to change its name to [Family Last Name] & Sons. You help keep this classic business naming convention going strong!

Dammit, I bring shame to my family again

Django

Agree. @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social is my weekly hour of joy in a garbage world

If you don't listen to North American Friends @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social :

Now is the time. You may think podcast gross. That's fair. But why not challenge the expectation?

Engage w content that supports diplomatic relations w Canada & America.

Help us expand the goodwill bc you like nice things.

The “problem” with vaccines? They so effective at preventing deaths that they create generations of people that question whether disease was a problem in the first place because they have never experienced the horrors of a world without vaccines.

Stand by Me

@murrman5.bsky.social this is getting ridiculous

Me: I'm allergic to Skyrizi

My doctor: Then you probably shouldn't take-

Me [popping a Skyrizi]: Shouldn't take a what?

Dr: Um, a....

Me [in his face, downing Skyrizi]: Say it, you bastard, I dare you

Last Temptation of Christ
Amadeus

Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia

"It’s time to just accept that some people like having sex with kids and focus on the fantastic things we’re doing to win back the respect of the world." — Donald Trump theonion.com/trump-urges-...

Crap, just realizing we forgot to Be Best

"Daddy, tell your story again, the scary one"

Ha, ok. It was a clear black night, a clear white moon. Your daddy Pete was on the streets-

The inker to the artist on the first issue of Fantastic Four:

"Why'd you have to go and make Thing so complicated?"

On the next Dog Police:

Detective: Four bodies, maybe more
Chief: My god, this is brutal

[rookie cop vomits]

Detective: Dammit son, get it together!

[rookie cop nods, eats vomit]

An edit of the "Yes... ha ha ha... YES!" sickos meme to replace the sicko with Cathy (from the syndicated newspaper comics) saying "Ack... ha ha ha... ACK!" with an expression of distress on her face. Her shirt also now reads "Ackos"

i think, unfortunately, that this may be my masterpiece

In my defense, I was confusing analogies and metaphors

It's probably a good sign for democracy that on the rare occasion you see a political article that seems to have interesting facts, its behind a paywall

Not sure how to feel about the fact that the most powerful man in the free world is currently fighting with the richest man on the planet using the same platform and maturity I used 10 years ago to complain that FuckJerry stole my friend's goat pun

Was her handle FloridaTourist4Life ?

Son: Daddy, what was it like during the Dark Times?

Me: Oh boy... Well, as you know, back then we didn't have Skyrizi™️

the New Pope says he's from Chicago but he's *actually* from Naperville

Promised the wife I'd quit gambling but can't stop eyeing this "Warriors in 7 + 3 jets in the ocean" parlay

Hey, It’s God, Just Checking In on That Vision I Sent You? If you need some help, I can recommend a few biblical scholars who have worked on visions before, I don’t mind asking them (they’re fans).

Thrilled to be back up in @pointsincase.com with a new piece today. Please review and I'll loop back later for your takeaways

www.pointsincase.com/articles/hey...