botanical garden🪴🍃

“The Taco Bell sponsored chastity cage” 🪶

“Keeps you from Baja Blasting” -anonymous party in the same room

Edward Cullen must’ve had a cold ass dick 🌲

Celsius cans are the white latinos of soda 🦋

As a stoner I will firmly say I believe having a lollipop stick in your mouth will always look cooler than smoking a joint or cig ever will but smokers aren’t ready for that conversation 🦋

Becoming the evil alter by nurturing my bloodlust for politicians 🌑

Motherfuckers be like: adds ‘i got like hella money’ to the repertoire of stupid fucking tiktok sounds played in our brain on loop daily 🥀

I’m motherfuckers 🌲

what? LINCOLN!! ✊😳✊🌲

I love drawing my in-sys boyfriend-not-boyfriend like one of my french girls he’s so cute 🪶

… what the fuck are you talking about 🗡️

Ugh this shift is passing so slow today, where’s the time loss when you actually need her this is such a fucking scam 😔😔🪶

I need to show these cis men what they’ll never have 🥰🌑

The feminine urge to get dolled up and go to the arcade and serve cunt while playing rhythm games is STRONG today 🌑

walking around the apartment high as shit every time I look at my new rotating aquarium fish lamp:

“ugh. she’s gorgeous. Oh she’s so pretty. she’s a pretty girl. UGH. she’s perfect.” 🫧

there’s tomato 🌲
and lettuce ❄️

listening to these fuckers try to reason how taco bell is actually not an unhealthy choice for food post shift is the type of mental gymnastics only seen in the white house and i will never ever win 🗡️

🦋 noticing 🫧 has changed her look while co-con at work:

🦋: Huh… she looks cooler.. I wonder if she got any older
🫧: Nope! Still sixteen!
🫧: …
🫧: Why would I ever want to be a fossil like you