JD (Human Disaster)

CW: parental death

My father died on February 11th.

My father is the main reason that I've been in intensive treatment since the start of October. To say that I am having a hard time processing this is an understatement.

I could really use some good vibes put out there for me during this time.

Absolutely willing to share if I am ever able to get it written and not have it in limbo like other projects 😂

This is somehow the most relevant thing to my interests that I have ever seen 🙏 Gonna go write that Mr. Robot fanfic with this as the aesthetic, brb.

🫂🫂💜🫂🫂

On the struggle bus these last few days because it’s been almost four months since my breakdown and I’m frustrated and disheartened that I’m not further along in recovery and still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I can’t do so much of what I used to do. 😮‍💨

I desperately want to get back to creating. That spark is finally starting to return and I’m ready to begin carefully and cautiously stoking that fire.

David Lynch sitting in a chair with headphones and a bullhorn saying "Okay, let's try that again, but this time good."

Me, waking up this morning, to 2026:

Three panel cartoon by Tina Menzel A cat sitting on a table next to a big sign that says 2025 Cat looks down at 2025 Cat pushes 2025 off the table

My greatest accomplishment of 2025 is just surviving this past year. Everything else is secondary.

Have a safe New Year's Eve, everyone. I'll catch you all on the flipside. 💜

Taking a step back from TTRPG storytelling to prioritize my mental health due to recent diagnoses and treatment needs.

Refocusing on other forms of storytelling in 2026. Writing is something that I've very much missed and while it won't be the same, it is a much healthier way to create for me.

BREAKING NEWS: Gävlebocken has collapsed due to strong winds! Just like when it was devoured by birds in '23, nature steps in when man fails to step up!
@sarahz.bsky.social

And I’m also so, so very grateful to the people who have shown up and offered their support during this time. Finding out about friendship goes both ways and I’m working really hard to focus more on gratitude and fostering those healthy relationships than fixating on what’s been lost.

One thing I heard over and over again in residential is that you find out who your true friends are when you start focusing on recovery and damn if that isn’t true.

And it’s still gut wrenching for the ones you lose, even when you understand that it’s ultimately for the best.

A cup of coffee on a table. The cup is black and says, "The horrors persist but so do I" and there is a skeleton drinking coffee. In the background there is a water bottle with a sticker of a cat wearing a fish hat and a sticker of a possum with little possums riding on it, which says, "Possum bus"

We love a cup of coffee in the morning ☕

And by morning I mean after noon.

a woman is making a funny face in front of a christmas tree and a sign that says a32 Alt: a woman is making a funny face in front of a christmas tree and a sign - she gives variations on merry Christmas, including merry crisis.

Home for the holidays🎄

Back home after almost two months away. Still in intensive treatment and there's a long way to go but I'm glad to be home for the holidays. 🖤

2025 has been the worst year on record (which is saying something) and December apparently couldn't go by without utterly gutting me.

One step forward, two steps back.

I’m an overachiever and that means I’m on track to get over 50 days on the residential unit. ✌️

Things haven't been good for a long time and I hope this more intensive treatment does what it needs to do. I will have limited access to technology while I'm there but I will try to keep people updated.

Stay safe, everyone, it's a rough time out there. I'll catch you all on the flip side. 💜

CW: mental health

I haven't been active or around much lately because I've been in the midst of a mental health crisis. I started a PHP several weeks ago and at some point this week I will be stepping up in care and heading out of state to a residential treatment facility for the next 30-45 days.

Universe, I am begging you to give me a break 🙃

I was thinking "disappearing" but "fading" works just as well.

Had my first day in more intensive treatment and I am so tired but so glad I am taking this step.

I'm taking a really big and scary step tomorrow and could use some good vibes sent my way because right now I'm pretty terrified. I know it's what needs to happen but it's not an easy thing to be doing.

Riv's got some plans cooking right now

'Cause I've been here so many times before
Don't you think I look pretty
Curled up on this bathroom floor
But where you see weakness I see wit
Sometimes I fall to pieces
Just to see what bits of me don't fit

It really feels like everything I’ve ever worked for is for nothing and my entire world is crumbling around me.

Hey, universe, could you please give me a break? Please? I’m so tired.