CQ

Thomas Bangalter did a live DJ set in Paris and I was stuck in America living under another Trump Administration.

The only purple revolution I support is the one named after the color of their corpses.

a man with a beard and mustache is smiling for the camera ALT: a man with a beard and mustache is smiling for the camera

Watching the Swifties awaken to class consciousness and the fundamental truth that all billionaires are evil, no exceptions.

The difference is expectation. Transactions are expected. That's how transactional relationships are balanced. Reciprocity is not expected, so balance must be achieved by other means of mutual benefit such as love, honor, or respect.

Someone needs to start a parody account for Karoline Leavitt's cross necklace. That wretched piece of mall jewelry needs to share its perspective with the world.

Cool. Kill 'em all.

Dead or deported. I don't care which, but that nazi fuck needs to go.

I guess it’s time to start killing billionaires.

Of course you followed Hawk. What a great way to go out.

Welp. That's it. TikTok is gone. It slowly got glitchy over the last hour. Likes and favorites stopped working. Profile pics disappeared. And then it all just... ended.

This last day of TikTok has quietly, deeply, and beautifully been the most intimate mass culture event in the history of the American experiment.

Gotta admit, Biden giving George Soros the Presidential Medal of Freedom on the eve of Trump’s second presidency is some expert level trolling.

I love that the Cybertruck is even shitty at being a car bomb.

You too!

Perfect take.

Jimmy Carter will be laid to rest, but the memorial will be for the American experiment, or at least those few parts of it that were decent and noble. I suppose there's hope. Hope for change, hope for justice, and hope for another very specific Presidential funeral.

You'll never convince me that Jessica Tisch isn't Kenneth from 30 Rock in a wig. Also, it has been an absolute pleasure to watch the NYPD be led around by such an incompetent fraction of a human being.

In the spirit of forward thinking, how do we arrange crowdfunding for the legal expenses of the *next* folk hero who aces a shitbag CEO?

It's so wonderful to find you here!

To the snitch who tipped off the cops in Pennsylvania, may your name become public, and may you live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.

Just a friendly reminder that we can always choke you by those pearls you’re clutching.

A suppressor of that size was an interesting choice. He knew the pistol wouldn’t cycle and was prepared to chamber rounds manually. Not professional, but practiced. I can’t wait to read this guy’s manifesto.

I hope this shooting of the CEO of United Healthcare sparks a new trend. I want board rooms practicing shooter drills, not schools.

I’d send my thoughts and prayers to the CEO of United Healthcare, but that would require prior authorization, and not giving a shit was a pre-existing condition.

How is anyone afraid of Kash Patel? How do we not live in a world where the Deputy Director of the FBI takes one look at him, says "shut up, nerd," and then goes on about his day.

I want one in our Georgia.

Just blocked my first round of trolls. Feels good. Highly recommend.

Hopeful Assad will be dead soon. For some reason I think Putin will be next. Then to round it out, Netanyahu and maybe even Trump. Bullets, poison, explosions, and cheeseburgers. A girl can dream.

Musical Xanax (Tenth Anniversary Edition)

In addition to putting out fresh playlists, I think it might be nice to recreate the originals from back in the day. "Musical Xanax" was one of the very first. It still hits.

Taking bets on which one of Elon Musk's twelve children will one day murder him in a blind rage.