natalie

The joy and second hand embarrassment of going to an emo dance party night at X Ray Arcade.

It’s 9pm but I am suddenly struck with this feeling that I had plans tonight? Am I accidentally ghosting somebody right now?

He’s doubling down

Hang it up, kids. My dad just sent my sisters and I this text with no context.

How could you? 🥺

Like, sometimes you’ve just gotta kick a girl when she’s down.

My best friend just got out of surgery and all I want to do is text her asking how it feels to know that the mayor of New York City is younger than her.

Like, what do you mean the mouthpiece for God went to a brewery?

Having an American Pope in the TikTok era is too much for me. I need to know less about the Pope and we need to stop reminding that man he’s from Chicago.

I'm on PTO all week next week and I will be setting aside a whole day to watch the new Ken Burns American Revolution doc.

A photo of a sign, white text on red background: JESUS... WHO IS HE? WHY DID HE COME?

When I arrive at the party

I love when I’m going to have company over bc then I can turn my heat up and pretend like I’m not constantly locked in this house freezing to death.

Say less

No truly, like, what was achieved by being here bc imo Maitland did not come off looking good in the end if her goal was to make the rest of the crew look bad.

I need deets on this sandwich. From where. What’s on it. How do I get one for myself.

How many Culver’s loyalty points do I have to earn in order for them to release the Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Culver’s commercial?

Someone commission Joseph Huber to write a ballad dedicated to the Streets of Old Milwaukee

You can romanticize other time periods all you want, but I, for one, am grateful to live in the era of athleisure.

You can always tell when I'm doing a Mad Men rewatch because my most visited webpage quickly becomes the US Bureau of Labor Statistic's inflation calculator.

Is he spying on me?

@jake.hashtag.biz Might be a good catch for your skycards

I'm sitting on my balcony working and enjoying the weather, but I'm also being terrorized by the government.

It's just like, Lake Michigan has my heart but Lake Superior consumes my being. And the other three Lakes can go fuck themselves.

The weather's so nice it's got me feeling like I should go to Duluth for the weekend.

That’s the danger element. Falling asleep when the vibes are high and missing out on crucial bonding and good natured ribbing.

The darkness adds drama and a hint of danger

Oh, I just popped outside briefly and it’s so nice out there. I think I might just try to drink outside after work?

Like my sister was 1 year old when 9/11 happened. Girl doesn’t understand the level of trauma those with conscious memory experienced watching 3,000 people die live on television.

Nothing highlights the age difference between my youngest sister and I like when she told our Uber driver last night we saw Come From Away and then he told us where he was on 9/11 and she was shocked he did that and I knew immediately what would happen if you mention 9/11 to anyone over 30.

Yeah same but I had to google it and it was so traumatic for me having to google