bligityblarg

Always keep an eye out for scams, folks. I'd already seen this one floating around. @felizemarzia.bsky.social Hope you get your account back, whoever you are.

If you know a friend's account has been compromised, best thing to do is reach out on any other platform, so they can update their password.

But, that's enough rambling for now. One of the big things I've gotta fix is my sleep schedule. My relationship with my parents is already looking better than it has in years, which is kinda sad tbh... But it means I shouldn't stay up all night anymore.

Sleep well, y'all.

Over the last year, I'd built my channel on the idea of passive education. Talking about the things we would see on screen, provoking thought experiments, tossing around hypotheticals. Largely because that's just how I see the world, breaking it down into smaller chunks. IDK, thoughts for later...

Whatever comes next, I want to devote more time and resources toward promoting real mental health- not simply creating a safe space, but encouraging those that need it to seek help, connecting those that can't with resources for it, and educating folks on how to better take care of themselves.

In short, what this is is something I've been needing my whole life, not even kidding: someone I can really share my feelings with. Male lonliness IS a real thing and DOES hurt us every single day. It's both perpetuated by and the source of several stereotypes we all know.

But I think the best part so far is, my therapist is detached from everyone else. It's not like talking to a close friend, where they might say something to another friend and questions start getting asked- I can be honest for once, say how things really make me feel.

And, he agrees with a lot of the sentiments I've been carrying. The circumstances that led to this point were unfortunate, but it's easy to tell why they happened, and how deep the chain of events really goes. And the doc wasn't nearly as insane as a certain echo chamber would have one believe.

The first session was the hardest- my story isn't exactly black and white, but it's pretty clear what's going on when you hear the full story... and he was patient. "That's a lot," was his response after an hour and a half of my rambling about everything.

I'm one of those people that bottles everything up to try to not burden people with my problems. But, honestly, going to someone whose job it is to hear you out makes everything so, so much easier. Subconsciously, I know I can't burden this guy, because he's doing his job being there.

bligityblarg sitting in a circular window, looking out to the rainy mist outdoors. Photo taken by bligityblarg in VRChat.

Having my therapist read the doc and validate that, yes, I'd been going through a normal pattern of domestic abuse... It's heartwarming, if not a bit depressing that I didn't catch on sooner. But things have been steadily improving here. I wanna talk a bit about my experience below.

For anyone who doesn't know how: Settings > Moderation > Muted Words & Tags is the place to go.

Saw something horrifying today- apparently there's a dedicated self harm community here. I don't consider myself squeemish, but I was close to needing a new keyboard after investigating the tags. Blocking the "shbsky" tag should suffice. Stay safe folks, and take care of yourselves out there.

I'd give them credit in that they were working with, at the time, only a limited set of screenshots... But look at the reactions to many of them, largely the ones involving my own screenshots, and it's pretty clear to see the logical leaps going on. It's kinda sad.

I'm aware of a video that was released recently. I watched the full thing. There's... a lot of issues with it, for someone that's going to slam my inability to create a proper research document. Whether I make a full commentary on it or not, it's still a fun conversation to have with my therapist.

And, to the haters. Some claimed there was no remorse. Between the doc itself and everything since, I hope the meaning of my actions isn't lost on you. My feelings were in plain text, and now there's multiple definitive actions. I won't beg for my life. But I'll get things done.

Good night.

For now, this is farewell. Those that want to stay in contact know where to find me. Most, if not all, public activity is suspended indefinitely. My Discord server has been my home for many years, and will remain as such for now, but. It'll be changing to accomodate the new... atmosphere.

But, what now? I'm not sure. I doubt anything would convince TGS the difference between intention and manipulation, so that stain is going to stay on this name basically forever. Damage has been done to other circles that I doubt I could repair. But, that's a problem for a later me.

And, so far, it's helped somewhat. Folks being supportive here and privately made it a *lot* easier to talk to folks IRL about it, who have been sympathetic so far. I seriously wouldn'tve made it this far without y'all's kindness.

Why am I going over this? Because they helped me take the first steps toward seeing a therapist. Not for the same reasons as people on here would say to get help, but for the reason that's plagued me and my family for many years. Actual, unironic lonliness.

To those that read the doc, thank you. To those that haven't, I have a private copy still that I may share, depending on who's asking. But a big change from all this is telling my parents about my private life, establishing why events would land as they did.

This isn't my first time writing this thread- I had one sitting on this tab for a day or two talking about hanging my hat, washing my hands of this name and moving on from the space. As far as that goes, I'm not sure what I'll end up doing fully. This is the name I've had for twelve years after all.

So, I took down the doc a few days ago. It's run its course. As for myself... A lot has been happening in the background, little of which is going to be said out here. I thank everyone that's been here for me during these troubled times. Some news will be shared below.

I gave it time, and watched the responses come in. Now that things have calmed down, I've created a new section at the bottom to address and document the responses. The content of the original sections remain unchanged.

As I am a part of this I highly urge you to please read this doc.

Alright, it's time to make the last two years of my life public. @vampriezenith.cozy.rehab is the minor in question. She only turned 18 in April. If not for my sake, then for the sake of everyone else she has hurt: read this doc.
docs.google.com/document/d/1...

This post has been floating around for five days. I have an address for it in the works. But I want one thing to be clear.

I am a victim. There are many others.

This story is long. It is hard. It involves a lot of screenshots. And a lot of people.

I aim for Saturday.

I'm sorry, everyone. I'll be going on indefinite hiatus.

Hi tired, I'm blig! How's it goin?

The two things that determine a game's viability is YOUR money and time. That is your voice, simply don't spend them on things that aren't worth it to you. Speak in the language corporations hear, and they WILL listen. Leaving negative reviews is great for talking to players too!