[Sic] Burns

Yeeeeeeessssssss

The world may never know (we hope)

The body is still warm sir!

there were little signs. nights out became nights in. i stopped doing it with my kid around, and slowly i stopped caring who knew i only wanted to listen to dubstep alone

The world is garbage but hoo boy am I enjoying watching Noem try to answer the question if she and Lewandowski are fuckin on planes

Correct and at this point he’s just playing President, open to promote whatever bs his low-rent aides are pedaling to him

One apple per day can keep a lot of people away if you aim really well

I reserve the right to speculate about those accounts that block me sight unseen. Block away comrade

Ooh I forgot about that one so now I have 2

So one of us is a patriot

Have you tried bumping into them in the hallway?

I simply do not understand why aliens don’t want to abduct me

And we haven’t even gotten to the shock and awe part

💡💡💡💡

So, they’re trying to make it where you have to have a passport to vote. But hear me out, you can also use the passport to leave.

Looks like you knew even then. Have a boffo day! 🎉🎂

Only Bibi I’d go to war for better be a Broadway triple threat

Love reading Frankenstein in public so I can occasionally say, “I guess we see who the real monster is.”

Wracking my brain but I don’t remember the punching ‘em when they’re down song from Schoolhouse Rock

No set number just until I’m totally dry

Oh there’s no comparison. But do know that I bought said 78 Malibu many years after it hit the showroom

Brook Finham blocked me today. I imagine they own an Airbnb in the Nashville area and worry that their kid is hanging with the wrong crew at afterschool activity time. Also trying to cut back on salty snacks. Godspeed, Brook.

Is there a Polymarket on whether or not I’ll lose my shit today because if so push all your chips to yes and remember me in your will

This has been a Semiquincentennial Moment

[1865]
club leader: the first rule of Height club is tall people in the back
john wilkes booth: hey i can’t see. this guy in front of me won’t take off his hat
Abe Lincoln: the hat stays on
john wilkes booth: shoot. haha jk did i say shoot ? i meant dammit
Abe Lincoln: what

So does that even count as complaining any more? You’re welcome.

Don’t talk to me before I’ve finished my dry needling

I hear Spain is lovely this time of government

Some of you have never been straddled in the back seat of a 78 Malibu with Rainbow cranked on the Jensen Triaxials and actually I’m sad for you

I was thinking Sweet Dreams but it sounds cliche so let’s go with yours