sebastian

Well yes I guess my earliest memory is seeing my dad close the door behind him, random tweaker, thank you for unearthing that

Psychoanalized! At the Afters

Sauuuur excited to finally see Madama Butterfly at the Met before a demure and eminently tasteful tweak at Longform Carry (snow allowing). I contain multitudes

“Wow you’re dressed so… utilitarian!” 🥲

Feeling very vulnerable right now (going to West Village bars, straight from work, Carhartt-brand lunch box in hand)

intensely pink

no! you have music autism (positive)

What, exactly, are you going ‘up, up, up’ to

I say this with a heart full of love and well-wishes… but pups love choosing the worst songs in the world for their Instagram posts

Heated Rivalry has revealed that all my girlfriends are fujoshis and now I’m thinking I should invite them to Wrecked

The concept of making being a house cleaner your shtick and being bad at it… I’d ask for a refund on my cum

Considering inviting one of the Grindr “oooo sir please let me put on a maid outfit and scrub down your kitchen” people over because I don’t want to clean :/

Learning that people just say things that they don’t mean and having a hard time processing why anyone would do that

well is it a handsome penis

Well it isn’t!

Growing up with the internet damaged me so bad

It’s the thing with the ears

Realized that one of my hood-on dance moves comes straight from caramelldansen and I had to sit down

let’s celebrate about it next week :)

When a man tries giving me any command at all ever: 🤨

When a woman tells me to get on all fours for her in that grody East Williamsburg warehouse that gave me at least 4 kinds of heavy metal poisoning:

but I like being grumpy mean dog.. :(

also gun to my head (getting hit on by beautiful women) she asked what kind of dog I am and I said Doberman so I guess that’s the answer now

Turns out I have it in me to do the “awrarara I’m a cute puppy tell me what to do :3” routine after all

But only for women

stanced

Turns out that what I needed was to make friends in their 30s and two weeks later I’m free from the ennui and back to dangerous levels of Living Deliciously so nevermind all that. Give that millennial a chance TODAY

I feel like developing a smidge of religious psychosis this fall could be very chic, very baroque, very justifying the name (St.) Sebastian

very on the nose / eye-roll-inducing that I serendipitously find a Joan Didion essay to go along with whatever Big Emotion I’m feeling anyways I’m reading The White Album now

I’d love having the type of brain that lets you laugh at the CEO’s canned jokes during this town hall. My coworkers are having a ki. Being the average Applebee’s core suburban American must feel sooooo good.

Making prolonged eye contact with a really hot guy :)

Wearing a Hamilton hoodie :(

He’s the likeliest person I know to hop on a cycle off the bat and lord help me if there’s trundle in the apartment

Roomie is on the “revenge body” part of post-breakup mania and thinks he’ll look like Chris Bumstead in 8 weeks off chickpeas alone. He’s been negotiating with ChatGPT about it while listening to Beyoncé’s Jolene on repeat.

I love gay people.