sebastian

He’s the likeliest person I know to hop on a cycle off the bat and lord help me if there’s trundle in the apartment

Roomie is on the “revenge body” part of post-breakup mania and thinks he’ll look like Chris Bumstead in 8 weeks off chickpeas alone. He’s been negotiating with ChatGPT about it while listening to Beyoncé’s Jolene on repeat.

I love gay people.

We’re like 75% of the way there

words have meaning ☝️

Metrograph calling a film techno-scored when the trailer is clearly dnb :c

taking pictures instead of finally unpacking from Folsom :(

WHAT’S WRONG WITH BORGES

Does the lesbian community have beef with Jorge Luis Borges? Please advise

Walked by a lesbian bar and saw a woman, presumably a lesbian, with a hat that said “NO BORGES” on the brim. What could she possibly mean…

At the function proselytizing the virtues of Brian Eno’s Music for Airports to tweakers looking for a comedown

also since I don’t have my hashtag millennial friends on Instagram, Folsom was cute and I felt really good about the muscle definition I had going on without flexing or a pump :)

I’m fighting a losing battle as a gay guy that collects fragrances and always smells nice 😔

Everyone in the SoMa Fitness SF smells like armpits :(

Pups are messaging me on Instagram and trying to schedule Folsom cockings, find out we have 0 party overlap, and then act as if I’m the weird one for knowing and caring about who Herrenscheide and Lydo are. God I really belong in Brooklyn (heartbreaking)

wooaaaah

How it feels to schedule PTO the Mondays after Folsom and Halloween because you know you’ll carry too severely while your coworkers list stuff like “school holiday with kids” and “wedding prep”

my gym needs a posing room because this back pump would’ve looked crazy when it was fresh / in better lighting but I’ll take it

coyote schloping

I love making the silliest stuff

Can’t we get a drink… a delicious glass of wine… NORMAL yoga….

About to go do hot yoga — an activity I’m not interested in, why would you make yoga hot…

With a coworker — a person I’m not interested in…

Because she’s 3 levels above me and kiking with people is part of my evaluation metrics :/

Movie outing when I’m there.. 🫦

Yayyy

Wait… would

“You’re the first person to move to Brooklyn and become less gay” - @popstar.bsky.social

Experienced a bout of bisexual panic so fierce last night that I expeditiously found a gay guy to make out with so I didn’t have to open that can of worms nor think about all that and I think that’s beautiful

I’ve been in a SeRioUs pack before and nothing could’ve prepared me for how incestuous and lovey-dovey my roommate’s friend group of Standard Issue Brooklyn Gay Guys is… frankly… kinda jealous

Every other bar on the LES has the amorphously… mid century modern-Nordic squiggly-lines-in-primary colors recessed-lighting simple cedar furniture with grated wood paneling… thing going on and I’m HEARTBROKEN because that is MY aesthetic sensibility don’t make it straggot and HR girl coded OMG

Started prioritizing intensity over volume recently and I think it’s working ( at least for the pumps lmao )

Feeling cock(with extra Ks at the end), schlonged the house down boots, if you will

I’m getting bicep veins and stretch marks so I’m feeling very whatever the himbo version of cunt is