Jared Hardesty

Trump reveals he was recently administered another cognitive exam — a test given to patients to detect signs of dementia.

just incredible optics here, the president yelling at you about how you should buy less and like it, three weeks before christmas, while standing in front of a bunch of stupefied moronic dipshits holding BIGGER PAYCHECKS signs

There has never been a President that has worked as hard as me! My hours are the longest, and my results are among the best. I’ve stopped Eight Wars, saving many millions of lives in the process, created the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country, brought Business back into the United States at levels never seen before, rebuilt our Military, created the Largest Tax Cuts and Regulation Cuts, EVER, closed our open and very dangerous Southern Border, when previous Administrations were unable to do so, and created an “aura” around the United States of America that has led every Country in the World to respect us more than ever before. In addition to all of that, I go out of my way to do long, thorough, and very boring Medical Examinations at the Great Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, seen and supervised by top doctors, all of whom have given me PERFECT Marks — Some have even said they have never seen such Strong Results. I do these Tests because I owe it to our Country. In addition to the Medical, I have done something that no other President has done, on three separate occasions, the last one being recently, by taking what is known as a Cognitive Examination, something which few people would be able to do very well, including those working at The New York Times, and I ACED all three of them in front of large numbers of doctors and experts, most of whom I do not know. I have been told that few people have been able to “ace” this Examination and, in fact,

most do very poorly, which is why many other Presidents have decided not to take it at all. Despite all of this, the time and work involved, The New York Times, and some others, like to pretend that I am “slowing up,” am maybe not as sharp as I once was, or am in poor physical health, knowing that it is not true, and knowing that I work very hard, probably harder than I have ever worked before. I will know when I am “slowing up,” but it’s not now! After all of the work I have done with Medical Exams, Cognitive Exams, and everything else, I actually believe it’s seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean “THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.” They are true Enemies of the People, and we should do something about it. They have inaccurately reported on all of my Election Results and, in fact, were forced to apologize on much of what they wrote. The best thing that could happen to this Country would be if The New York Times would cease publication because they are a horrible, biased, and untruthful “source” of information. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.

Trump's cognitive decline is so severe he cannot recognize that speaking about it in this way reveals the deficiencies

it's so cool how the President regularly brags about how many medical tests he does on a weekly basis and the media barely has any interest

Honolulu comes close

it is actually kind of bananas how unitary executive theorists have taken a straightforward clause requiring the president to "faithfully execute the laws" and transformed it into a grant for the exercise of limitless unenumerated power.

Folks might not know a lot of people are getting *very* upset that the materials they request are not available in the libraries/archives they're requesting from.

We're getting lots here at the Library of Virginia: requests of documents likely surfaced by large language models that *do not exist*.

It’s very funny to me that countries are trying to pass laws banning teens from social media until they’re older and can “handle it” as if the last decade hasn’t been about watching rich middle aged men nuke their brains on Twitter and then run the USA via shitpost.

I think “the president’s allies are promising to destroy media institutions the president doesn’t like to curry favor with him” is very bad, actually

imagining the tarzan yell but it's like an old lawn mower with a busted choke struggling to start

oh hey look it’s the thing literally everyone said would happen

Lisa Taddeo in Airmail: "I think Olivia is smarter than she is beautiful, though she is unquestionably beautiful. I think Olivia is able to write something beautiful overnight and not a lot of people can do that, and her intrigue and wisdom are amplified, in my opinion, by how very young she still is. Her prose is never boring, even when it’s precious, and when I look at her I see a little girl, like my daughter, like myself, like us all, which is what she actually still was when all these older, powerful men navigated her, and, through that, she learned how to navigate them, and the world, in a way that I think has gravitas. But mostly I think the attempted patriarchal mass murder of this woman’s career and her personhood is a freaksome lynching the likes of which we will look back upon with a dazed compunction."

Possibly the only thing more freakish than Nuzzi's prose is the contortions her defenders twist themselves into. "She's not just hot, but she definitely is hot, while also being a vulnerable smol child. Also, criticizing her is sexist."

sitting next to a sweaty guy on a plane who just finished a workout at terminal 8 while wearing a shirt, tie, and suit

the universities obviously have no responsibility for what happened whatsoever. no one in the trump administration gives a shit about the quality of universities, as you well know. they just see an enemy of authoritarianism and want to destroy it.

Supreme Court oral argument this morning, in sum

Sotomayor: you're asking us to destroy the foundation of government (derogatory)

Gorsuch: you're asking us to destroy the foundation of government (complimentary)

Same headline.

Seven years apart. 🤡

@politico.com
www.politico.com/news/2025/12...

Farmers: Where’s MY bailout?!

Dementia president: Here you go!

Farmers, later: Where’s MY bailout?!

Dementia president: Here you go!

It is really, really hard to get your head around the raw hubris of the majority. They really will be destabilizing the operating structure of the entire U.S. government. Why? Because they believe they have a better idea about how the past century should've been done.

Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic Media Mogul Vows To Defeat Her Most Dreadful Creation

Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic https://theonion.com/oprah-pursues-dr-phil-on-ship-through-arctic/

Trump’s Own Mortgages Match His Description of Mortgage Fraud, Records Reveal The Trump administration has argued that Fed board member Lisa Cook may have committed mortgage fraud by declaring more than one primary residence on her loans. We found Trump once did the very thing ...

Trump hung up on a ProPublica reporter after being asked whether his Florida mortgages were similar to those of others he had accused of fraud. 🤔

"I am Spartacus" but for sex pests

On the bridge of the Enterprise, Captain Kirk is sitting front and center in the captain's chair. He's laughing jovially. He's surrounded by most of the main cast: Spock, Uhura, McCoy, Scotty, and Chekov are all laughing as well (well, not Spock). It's a gay ole time. Fozzie Bear of the Muppets is behind the Captain's chair between Spock and Uhura. He's pointing with his mouth open, and he's raising his hat off his head with his right hand.

Day 48 of inserting a random Muppet into a random Star Trek screenshot

#StarTrek #StarTrekTOS #TheMuppets

this is one of the worst things to happen in the 21st century, and like... its pulling teeth to get anyone to mention that its happening at all.

Preview of news program with title "who should be fed chair?"

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

It's largely lost today because we've allowed constitutional law to become the exclusive preserve of lawyers, but the original idea of written constitutionalism was partly one of public education, publicity, & (proto-)democracy—people should be able to read & come to know the law which binds them

This is a man cursed with just enough morality to know that he is damned, but without the requisite courage to do anything about it.

a regime that is publicly humiliated by Henry Cuellar does not have the juice to dismantle the Republic.

At some point someone just needs to say “you are an indecent person, you are lying to cover the slaughter of defenseless men, you know you are lying, and even under the tenets of your own professed faith you will certainly burn in hell if you continue down this path”