Sinbad

They should never make a hot waitress deal with anything to even slightly related to the toilets. A hot waitress shouldn’t have to do that. The lesser waitresses can deal with such things.

Unfortunately I am addicted to saying to saying “FUCK the big picture Clint!”

Ate all the T-rexes out of the Quorn dinosaurs me n my fiancee are sharing because I felt she as a vegan would prefer the herbivores

Telling people I’m child free by saying “the only pitter patter of tiny feet you’ll hear in THIS house is me dropping my Monster Munch”

other people when they see somebody attractive: they are hot
me: I hope they chop me into small bite size pieces so that when I am cooked I may be eaten easily with chopsticks

“Imagine being high on Bake Off and having to look at Paul Hollywood’s scary eyes”

Claudia Winkleman as a grim portent of death is good, I want Claudia Winkleman with one of those tambourines that attach to your foot singing O Death like an old Appalachian man

Thinkin about how nobody warns kids about panto. You don’t go to one, it just kind of happens to you.

“I’m a panto seeking missile, I love a panto”

I will never know happiness until I am allowed to have a very tiny dog (preferably some kind of long haired chihuahua) called Chocolatine that is my Best Friend

Update I started frying chicken at 4am and she did wake up but she did NOT approach with a weapon so it’s looking good lads

Will my girlfriend kill me with a sabre if I start frying chicken at 2am

Did you know I think about this every single day

I’d sacrifice myself on an altar literally right now if it meant I could see Sigourney Beaver do a lipsynch to Government Hooker

Finally... After YEARS of trying to get hold of one, i finally have the Black & Bronze logo Pintrill #Ghostbusters pin badge and i could not be happier!
And i have to thank the amazing @domoarigateaux.bsky.social for making it happen!!! Xx it's now been added to the mighty GB pin board!!

Yeah, alienation checks out.

uquiz.com/quiz/p0u5c3/...

Having to see this in real life honestly made me want to end my own life out of cringe

Im not allowed to think about women bc it makes me behave Unwell

ever see a woman so hot you wanna get her name tattooed on ur cervix

There’s a Paddy Power ad for “super subs” rn and they clearly did not have a single gay person on their marketing team

jarold

Sometimes i still think of that time my pal said “shall we pounce out for a snout” to me

Why would you look at a shop with the shutters fully down, door closed, and decide to try the door anyway? What about that screams “open for business” to you?

There is something about One Single Marijuana Cigarette that makes me a huge Celine Dion fan

Eating apples feels more like an activity than a food, like that’s the Kong full of peanut butter but for people

Nintendo fucking putting a Windwaker port in the e-shop and making it only accessible to the Switch 2 is my Joker origin story

minidisc fans (me) rise up

being forcefully discharged from the psych ward for saying THESE SOCKS AINT THE ONLY THING WITH GRIP

Nicki was like “I was gonna watch A Star Is Born to upset myself the night you went into hospital” and I’m like yeah seems like a self-triggering moment but also, girl how dare you make me Bradley Cooper in all of this

if you give jenna ortega a dusk stone she evolves into randy orton