Peter Smith

My 8 year old neighbour is dressed as Owen from The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists on #WorldBookDay.
He's been decorating our kitchen since 5am and he's only charging 6d an hour.

Just received a call from the guy with details of the delivery he's making here today.
He had the thickest Geordie accent I've ever heard. Our conversation was uncannily like Alan Partridge and his mate Michael.

It's never dull. No disrespect to Everton, they're a great club, but they don't experience the peril and joy we do.

The UK press in full cry demanding entry into a war with no aims, no strategy and no legality is quite a sight.

Anyway, less about the recent results affecting Leeds United. Let's just enjoy the success of England in the World T20 semi-final this afternoon.
#lufc

Or want to go?

To be fair, few people know more about escorts than Donald Trump. He married one.

There are three main ways of dealing with the ups and downs of following Leeds United.
- Class A drugs
- Alcohol
- Following Paul on Bluesky

The fella is a genius.
#lufc

Shaky was a supporter of the Young Communist League.
See also Jack Bruce.

Clearly, the second Ayatollah Khamenei is not a fan of Steptoe and Son or Sooty otherwise he would have changed his name Ayatollah H Khamenei.

Trump knows nothing about the life of Winston Churchill, he probably thinks The Dardanelles is the original name of The Ronettes.

The slightly too small blazer suggests Hegseth has a Yorkshire mother who, in January, doesn't want to splash out on a new one as her Peter is leaving in the summer.

Pete Hegseth aged 9 after his mum asked him to tidy his room.

It's difficult to believe Kemi Badenoch is in her mid 40s.
She has a real stroppy 17 year old's "Don't tell me what time I need to be home, you're not my real dad" vibe about her.
#PMQs

At the current exchange rate, this is the equivalent of around 61p a litre in the UK.

Blocked and reported!!!

Until very recently, I thought Robin Wales was a new Reform policy not the name of a Labour detector to the party.

I suspect I'm in a very small group who think of Frankie Abbot in Please Sir! when reading Hegseth's nonsense.

Starmer might not float everyone's boat but thank God he's Prime Minister not Kemi Badenoch.
Badenoch as PM would be catastrophic for the country. Overwhelming self confidence is irrelevant if you have the judgement of a house brick.
#PMQs

Are you
- A racist?
- One chicken McNugget short of a Happy Meal?
- Can develop policy without any research that can't withstand 5 minutes scrutiny?
Today's Reform Party is just for you

Farage and Badenoch are in favour of placing UK interests and the lives of our servicemen and servicewomen in the hands of a nutter. Starmer isn't.
Yet Starmer is the one getting vilified.
2026 is very strange.

Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage are hardly the go to guys of global politics.
Rational nuanced analysis is needed not easy quotes from compromised rentagobs.

He was terrible but Farke's selection was poor. Sunderland aren't Man City so why Gruev and not an attacker.

Farke was like his old self. Gruev should have been replaced by a forward.

I was behind Louise Taylor as she wrote this item on her laptop. Fellow #lufc fans were suggesting to her an alternative form of, mostly swear, words.
#lufc

Totally agree and I think it's a view shared by the non swivel eyed.

The goalkeeper pretends to be injured and the coach gathers the team together to change tactics really needs stamping out.
#lufc

The whole game was dreadful. Some blame attaches to Farke. Why pick the same team as Man City?

"Tell me something you don't like about Keir Starmer, Mr President?" isn't journalism it's muckraking.

Stuart Atwell? Winifred Atwell would have done a better job.
A game that was a microcosm of everything that's wrong with Premier League football.
#lufc