Those who have the power to love us, have the power to abandon us.

Oh, I'm aware, Co-star. Keenly aware.

Your day at a glance: Just admit that you like the drama. Stop pretending you're the victim when the same patterns keep repeating. You choose complicated people because simple ones bore you. Own your addiction to intensity before it destroys something that actually matters.

Why you gotta do me like that, co-star

Dear subconscious: please, I'm begging you, let her go, I know you want closure, but since I can't have that, can I at least have oblivion

"Your fear of being hurt again is louder than your desire to be happy"

...can you blame me, Co-star? The odds are not in my favour

And the final lawyer bill is paid! So that's everything now.

...whew that whole thing was very expensive, remind me not to get married again

My lawyer sent me the official divorce certificate yesterday via email so that's that, it's all done

The poem Ghost by Drew Walker

Ouch hey

I haven't dog-eared books in a long time but I am with this book so I can go back to the particularly hard-hitting poems

A friend gave me a book of poetry that her cousin wrote after a disastrous long distance relationship and whew this is hitting too close to home, excuse me while I read poetry and weep all morning

My brother was a bit sick so he wore a mask the whole night just so my mom would be able to come (except while eating, and we made sure she was at a distance at dinner) which must have been so uncomfortable while cooking in a hot kitchen, it was very sweet of him

Oh hey, I'm divorced now

(Note: I spent all day cleaning and baking so maybe not *that* fair)

Your day at a glance: the way you left your bedroom this morning is the way you'll be in the world today. Your bedroom tells the story your mouth won't. Scattered clothes, scattered thoughts. Disorder at home has followed you all day. Fix your space first, then watch your mind clear.

Harsh but fair, co-star

She's already feeling better, it's just that, having had a health emergency, her health insurance is void now if she stays - until she gets the all-clear. They'll pay for sudden crises in the US but not for known issues arising because of said crises

My mom's health issues mean that she has to come home before Christmas & stay probably until at least the end of January, until she can get the doctor & possibly the oncologist to say she's fine; she's pretty heartbroken about it, but my Christmas season suddenly became a lot fuller

My mom: But I was in the hospital for a whole day, why would I need more rest

My mom called this morning

Mom: I didn't call earlier this week because I was in the hospital
Me: ...
Mom: I have walking pneumonia
Me: ...
Mom: and some heart failure
Me: !?!?!!!
Mom: but I'm okay now, just on my way to square dancing
Me: ...shouldn't you be resting?
My dad, beside her: RIGHT???

"Your body was built to be loved. You've been at war with your reflection. The mirror isn't your enemy. That body you criticize has carried you through every storm. It deserves the same kindness you so easily offer others.

Look, co-star, why you gotta come at me like that

The divorce judgment has been signed as of November 24th and will take effect 31 days from signing, which takes us to... December 25th. That's a hell of a thing.

But hey, I will be fully divorced before the new year. Onward and upward.

It was a year ago today that she sent me an email saying she wasn't coming back, that she wanted a divorce, and it feels like forever, like another life I can't even imagine now, which I suppose is for the best.

Your day at a glance: Someone is disastrously in love with you. Their reckless devotion terrifies you because it demands a response. Stop testing their commitment and start examining your own fear. The heartbreak you're avoiding might be worth the risk this time.

Slow down, co-star, you're on crack

Co-star's Day at a Glance: Think about kissing someone. Someone has been on your mind more than you care to admit. Stop over-thinking what could go wrong and consider what might go right. The risk of getting hurt is real, but so is missing out on something good.

No thanks, co-star, under-thinking what might go wrong is what got me into this mess in the first place

Anyways, now we just await the final divorce judgement

I feel like "Ladies, this is great news!" Is a very odd way for a lawyer to start an email about the divorce papers being filed by the clerk of the court (finally)

...sure it's good to hear, after all the muck-ups, but 'great news'?

Oh yeah, you were the one who drew funny pictures of the science teacher on the blackboard

You look vaguely familiar, like someone I met a long time ago at a summer writing camp, maybe?

I always feel a little bad when I meet people from BW, I don't know how to explain that I can't tell men apart and I have forgotten them entirely except for rare exceptions

I didn't expect to find an ex-coworker at the Witches Walk, but here we are; I kind of recognized him but I assumed it was from Suburbs, not BW. He recognized me, though, so we talked shop for a bit

I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon. All is well but he was sure distressed to learn that the painkillers didn't work, nor did the drug they gave me to forget what happened during the procedure, it's all excruciatingly clear

Also I applied for a job this week that I want more than any other job I've ever wanted, send good vibes please