Alan Partridge

Thailand, 1983 and a young Alan Partridge is swept up in an underage sex tourism crackdown all because i mispronounced the Thai words for silk scarf. The result, i was deported to Tasmania to stand trial. Luckily the deportation flight was hijacked to Sydney. True story.

The attack on baldness is not new. Henry VIII once had a man beheaded for appearing at Court wig-less. Henry was apparently so outraged he then ordered the lifeless decapitated body flogged and hung upside down on London Bridge with the offending hairpiece nailed. Hence the phrase “flip one’s wig.”

For some, being insulted is a form of praise. I think it was Chris Knight aka Peter Brady who said to unreasonable bully Buddy Hinton,”Why not just cut out all the teasing?” right before he knocked Buddy to the ground loosening one of his teeth and giving him a lisp.

Joy,
With strength and humility we face our toughest challenges. I for one never believed your anti LGBTQ tirades were any more than good natured joshing, a friend playfully ribbing other friends. They say a rotten lobster glows, if so, you my friend are the rottenest!

I met Charlie on a Weekly Standard excursion through the Caribbean years ago and whilst we were admiring some scantily clad guests at the ships swimming pool, i inadvertently and quite innocently made a hackneyed remark about hairpieces that ended our friendship.

While i normally oppose rewarding theft or any criminal activity, I would estimate that many many great people started out as thieves, won the lottery then changed the world. Show us what you got!

It’s Bedlam! Rebuilding the great insane asylums of yesteryear but in a more modern, more humane way has long been a passion of mine. Will there be a place for straight jackets and manacles this time around, time will tell. This is a great first step!

Mark while I applaud your zeal, it could be construed by some as somewhat unpatriotic.

Mr Sulu, allow me please on behalf of the now deceased Roosevelt administration to offer my deepest apologies.

I think i can say on the record and unreservedly that the phrase i use most often, at the very least 3 or 4 times a day and that’s every day is “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night.”

Tilda and I shared a cranberry mushroom puff pastry at the Columbus Circle Christmas Markets a few years back. Who paid you ask? Who’s the gentleman i would answer but we did in fact go Dutch. Oddly a gust of wind blew her hat into the park, and I haven’t seen her since.

A flee circus ?

Quite possibly the best fried egg Ive ever eaten. I did send back the potatoes however, when i discovered a plastic pull top in the very first forkful.

“A Rock in a Hard Place” - we’re pitching this to SKY as we speak. Basically, Johnson ascends to de facto US Presidency when the entire government goes into hiding during a Russian nuclear scare. Riveting.

David, can i send you a copy of my book,”Read the Room, Watch the Results”?

I would only consider a partial government shutdown, say from 5Pm-9am weekdays, all weekend hours and of course all Federal holidays. I personally feel this could be what we could call, a happy medium.

Steady, thats enshrined in the Farts Amendment.

I’ve done a lot of research and apparently methane is the most painless most humane way of doing this. Specifically bovine flatulence in excess, sends the over consumer or in this case convicted murderer into a peaceful yet permanent slumber. Logistics remain an obstacle.

These charges will be dismissed. Trust me, I know.

This scandal grows larger with each passing day. Congress should release all records for all members at once. House plants die in darkness.

Hope, Delaware is a wonderful place that is home to not only the East Coast’s last remaining fully operational orphanage but over 3 dozen full service gas stations.

“Friendly fire starts and ends with a bang.” B. Ozo

I guess Joe and Mika won’t be joining us any time soon.

A funny thing happened on the way to Harvard…

Kitten food is aged up to 20 years for deep fermentation to help build flora within a cats GI. There should be a 9 digit number after the ingredients containing ingredients’ origin date.