Johnny Nice Painter ⬛🖌️

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FOOLED YOU ALL!

IT'S NOT REALLY DOLPHIN IT'S KITTEN

It's an almost Shakespearean tragedy innit?

Dolphin steaks on a griddle pan.

Very sorry dolphins, but you have no business being this fucking tasty. Yes, yes, yes. Don't fucking worry. It's tuna-friendly dolphin. Jesus Christ 🙄

I absolutely should not be laughing so hard at this

Look, it might *seem* like the world is going to shit right now, but that's only because it is.

Birthday today?

Happy birthday Shihab Jr.

Listen closely to everything your father has to say.

Then ignore it, obviously.

😜

Nope

Oh sorry I just found this in my drafts folder from 7 days ago....

I think the Green Party will win quite handily actually.

This is like when you buy one of those plastic steering wheels that you stick on your dashboard so you can tell your three year old that they are driving, right?

Please tell me that.

Yeah. OK. Let's not get silly.

A glass containing a mysterious red liquid. Some say this is Campari, Gin and Tonic. Others say it is the blood of virgins. Who can really say.

MINE HAS GOT CAMPARI AND TONIC IN IT AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY THINKS ABOUT THAT SO DON'T EVEN TELL ME THE THING THAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO.

TELL ME. THE THING. TELL ME THING THAT WHICH YOU WERE ABOU...

I'll come in again

Please tell me it's AI powered?

A glass containing a red drink which is Campari, Gin and Tonic water with some ice and a slice of lime.

Cheers mate!

Yeah it's a Campari, Gin and Tonic and I don't care 😂

Yeah, that whole post was a thinly disguised piece of market research to gauge interest in my "art supply items which transform into mammals made of various materials" side hustle.

Just you so far. Not encouraging 😟

How do we unlock the mysteries of the human mind Andy? HOW DO WE DO IT?

Walk back 20 years. Imagine how incredulous you would be at the state of things today. Now imagine the state of things in 20 years time. What might you find incredulous now that could happen then?

USA invading the UK?

A single global social media platform?

Pencils that turn into rubber marmots?

Greens: Here are the things we stand for please vote for us.

Voters: OK ✅

Matt Goodwin: THAT'S CHEATING

kermit the frog is drinking tea from a glass . ALT: kermit the frog is drinking tea from a glass .

Sipping the sweet, sweet tea of fascist failure.

😂

I keep reading these two quotes and with each reading they become more and more unfathomably stupid.

I have a small spring in my step today 😆👍

The Gorton and Denton by election result showing the Tory share of the vote at 1.9%

Without detracting from Green's well-deserved victory, and as expected as it might have been, can we all just take a moment to savour this:

A new politics of hope was born this morning. We do not need to be the cruel nation that Badenoch, Starmer and Farage want. @zackpolanski.bsky.social and the Green Party have shown us we have a choice.

Probable BBC News headline:

STUNNING VICTORY FOR REFORM OVER LABOUR

“a coalition of Islamists and woke progressives that came together to dominate the constituency” is a *very* long way of saying "the voters".