Jynx Jenkins

How’s y’all’s eggs?

I own an awful lot of “active” wear for someone who isn’t.

…and that’s all I need.

a realistic cookbook where every recipe starts with "step 1: clean up your kitchen"

My insurance company rep literally laughed at me when I asked why it wasn’t considered a preventative med.

ME: and make mine a double

WAITER: your..your tater tots?

ME: you heard me

Have they tried NOT being a woman?

fokke fokkema from the village of slappeterp

the Dutch are not real. they’re a figment of my imagination

When Coco Chanel said to remove one last thing before leaving the house, I assume she meant the cat hair.

I was once carded while singing along with Bon Jovi on the piped-in music and the cashier said, "Yeah. That'll do it."

Big, big shows this weekend in Boise!

Did I accidentally sign up for the “dog accounts only” follow option?

An advent calendar but instead of candy every day it’s just a message from a different person saying they’re not mad at you

If you were being sold as an action figure, what 2 accessories would you come with?

Imagine being the first person to hear the Knight Rider theme. I would've run through a wall at the studio.

Martha Stewart made 35 pies today. So you know, great.

Public library energy is the best energy. Like here is all the knowledge we could find, it's been meticulously organized and vetted and it will cost you nothing today, welcome to the absolute pinnacle of human civic evolution, feel free to pull up any bean bag chair you like

Go ahead, just try to tell high school me that 2025 me will be sitting around in a Nirvana crop top and wide leg pants.

Just learned, after buying a 20 lb. turkey, that my family doesn’t want 5 lbs of turkey each.

A big part of anxiety is just being very suspicious of yourself. Like I'm not exactly sure what I'm up to but I don't trust this guy, vibes are off.

I’ve heard just leaving bits and bobbles of shiny material around is their love language.

Just found out about the “Tacky Christmas” trend. So glad to be right on the pulse again this year.

Well, here I am.