Seeby | حسيب

Grab tickets for a comedy or improv show, museums (Broad, Getty), check out Griffith Observatory. Food options are varied & super authentic: Chinese, sushi, ramen, Korean/KBBQ, Thai (go to Jitlada!), Vietnamese, Mexican of course…

I’d stay in West Hollywood or Santa Monica for walkability.

absolutely hilarious thing to type and publish for anyone to see 😂😂🤦🏽‍♂️

There are DMs on Bluesky? How’s everyone feeling about that… sometimes I miss it on threads but mostly I feel like it’s for the best

There’s nothing more insulting than coming home to find it colder in LA than it was in NYC

LINK TO VIDEO HE’S COMING ANY MINUTE

Today is the “The Plumber Wants $1,000 Am I Willing To Bet On Myself To Fix It Instead” challenge, wish me luck 🫠🚽

At stake: mother in law’s ability to poop when she visits

I cant do another social media app, especially not a Zucky one. I’m ready to transition into my touching grass and getting the memes next quarter via WhatsApp era.

WE WILL RELEASE A NEW TWITTER CLONE EVERY HOUR UNTIL OUR DEMANDS ARE MET

Can’t believe they’re sticking THAT down our throots 😬

LET THE PROGRESSIVE PURITY TESTING BEGIN

Congrats Hank! We’ve all been rooting for your speedy & complete recovery.

Y’all proud boys are so weird. You don’t see me joining truth social. Why are you here?? Family and friends all cut you out of their lives? Figures.

“I’m plenty woke and liberal” is “don’t get me wrong, I voted for Obama” levels of right wing cretin bullshit

Have you heard the phrase “tie me kangaroo down, mate”? That court hears the habeas petitions.

I don’t know what serving c*** is and I think it’s best for everyone if I never find out

RangeError: Maximum call stack size exceeded (native stack depth)

New Slack auto response just dropped

🫡

I love love love mangoes deep inside my bones and soul. Just knowing such an allergy can exist makes me weep.

Oh and there’s no talent at upfronts this year because of the strike, so the execs are front and center.

Shit. Show.

Hey if you ever report a tweet on Twitter for hateful content (particularly anti-Semitism) and it gets rejected feel free to tag me over there (@mollyoshah) and I’ll make a NetzDG report- Germany appears to be pretty seriously going after Twitter for not taking those posts down

“I have been maliciously and illegally deprived of the right to breathe heavily behind them in the break room. Damages: incalculable.”

My wife works at NBCU, in the entertainment group. Upfronts are next week. It’s a shit show. 😂

HYPERCARD 🥹🥹🥹

Dis u?

https://bsky.app/profile/jaketapper.bsky.social/post/3jveveiiwcc2n

Enjoy prison, bitch

Me: No way is this bagel girl flirting. Ain't no way. You're just confused because she's cute and it's her job to be friendly.

Also me, at home a few minutes later: Oh my god there are 14 bagels in this dozen.

Lady next to me: “what’s your name, by the way?”

Bartender: “It’s Barrett!”

Lady: “omg, Bear?? That’s so cute!”

Bartender: “Barrett, actually. Barrett.”

Lady: “CUBBY BEAR. FUZZY BEAR. I can’t handle how cute that name is!”

Bear: 🫠

Well this doesn’t look *great*