Sobek, Goddess of the Nile

“…I’m still not hearing any changes to the description.”

“Oh hey you met Rattotoskr too?”

“Another miscalculation, but a minor one. You also need to go steal the catalytic converter from his car so he looses an equivalent amount of money to what he got from the insider trading.”

“Remember folks, ethics classes are a real thing you need to take

Otherwise you’ll end up like me and accidentally release a feral possum into a gas station bathroom because the man inside was commiting insider trading.”

“Wow…imagine if I could do something like that…”

That would require a routine outside of ‘live my life and annoy as many people as possible’. It’s not gonna happen, but it’s funny to think about. Especially since her dad is the god of half the bad things in her pantheon.

“Got a name for it?”

“Which one and how? There’s been a lot of monotheism in the world, even in Egypt.”

She’s curious now, eventually opening a door on the back of the rock and just walking out of it

…WAIT A DOOR?!

“Oh no, that’s partially true. You’d be amazed how many religions have a slight bit of truth to them

Wu Kong’s real. I think he’s still alive.”

The head opens its mouth and shows an image of an underwater mountain on a screen where its esophagus would be.

“I made this as a prop for a fighting tournament that didn’t pan out. I just decide to use it for jokes whenever the time arises.

Wait a minute…IF THATS NOT MAGIC, THEN WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!”

She’s used to people just innately having magical talent, something like Hamon to her is a miracle.

The head sighs and kicks up a ton of dust

“OH COME ON IM TRYING TO BE COOL! LET ME DO SOME COOL SHIT! WHATS MILDLY INCONVIENENCING YOU RIGHT NOW!”

Oh hey, she’s so flustered she’s screwing up words

“Alright; second plague option: Plague of rats. Gonna have to call up a friend for that one by I’m sure getting those things out of wiring is gonna be hell.”

The rocks began to emerge and formed into a rather intricately designed rock. It’s shape matching the deities head

“…Oh shit that’s kinda cool. What kind of spell is that?”

“Nah man, Plague of Radiation from your next set of batteries. Get Sterilized and forgotten by the records of history.”

She’s chucking as hard as she can with the intent to knock someone unconscious. That’s never backfired before (it had) and it won’t backfire now (it will)!

The head turns and begins to talk

“I was just going to use this to do weird things with no explanation but now I think I just need to kill you.”

“Hold on I can fix that.”

PUT THE BRICK DOWN YOU PSYCHO!

The ground eventually parts for…

The biggest monument to ego ever conceived by a crocodile

There’s an audible ‘LA LA LA LA LAAAAA’ on the wind as the ground begins to rumble. Seems even she’s playing up the joke

Oh it’s gonna get worse, the ground is shaking now. Something’s coming up from the sand. It looks like a bunch of rocks.

“Domain Expansion: Crocodile Rock.”

Cue the reader being transported to the desert

[Slowly emerging from his closet like a monster that scares kids]

“Need me to guarantee that?”

She’s kicking down a door

“She’s here.”

WHY IS SHE DEATH GRIPPING A RAT?!

“OH FUCK SHE MADE MY ARMOR ASHY!

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

“That sounds like a challenge.”

Remembering the time a Kryptonian threw her into the sun once

“…I’m not gonna test it.”

She’s walking out of a card shop with a hazmat suit, holding a cookie in tongs.

“Oh dear god, those poor animals…”

“I will go back in time to the first Thanksgiving to give that turkey your ancestors ate the equivalent of a Harem.”

A SKLETON HOLDIN UP A FINGER TO POLITICANS AND THE PEACES OF SHIT WHO WANT TO WRECK EVERYONES LIFES, IF SOME OF US ARE NOT FREE THEN NONE OF US ARE FREE, THE POLITICANS AND BILLIONAIRES WHO RUN THE COUNTRY MEET ON A SECRET ISLAND TO BREED SEX SLAVES BUT THEY WANNA TELL US THAT WE SHOULD BE SCARED OF SOMEONE TAKEN A SHIT IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM, OR MAD AT SOMEONE FOR HAVIN A DRIVERS LICENSE, FASHISM AINT CREEPIN ANY MORE ITS JOGGING, THEY BETTER GET THERE BIG ASS BUNKERS BUILT QUICK CAUSE THERE FULL OF MEAT AND WE GROW HUNGRIER BY THE DAY - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

TRANS RIGHT'S ARE HUMAN RIGHT'S - dashare.zone ADMIN

“Agreed, he seems like he coos with power.

By the way, haven’t seen your face before. I’m Sobek.”

She’s putting away the photo of The Creature

“I will be adopting this thing when I can, because I love his big ass eyebrows.”

Sobek on a bad day:

“I got cookies so good that it’s turned my friends into flies.”

The cookies are locked in a bear cage, and there’s about 12 people trying to bend the bars apart