David Lewis

Q: until some stupid racist cunt started spouting meaningless crap about representation in fucking adverts, had you spent a single nanosecond of your life ever thinking about it

Some dumb white shitheads: *Neanderthal grunting*

A traditional night for couples to enjoy the Horn of Rassilon.

Thanks to my comprehensive muting policy, I haven’t got a fucking clue what is going on on this website.

Watching Red Riding again. It feels more contemporary and relevant than ever.

Christ, this is pure M.R. James

Presumably the advice is not ‘Get a grip on yourself.’

Fully succumbed to the latest London plague. Insane that we cram ourselves into a subterranean Petri dish brimming with bacteria and infection every single fucking day and yet any suggestion that masks might be a good idea is met with sneering derision

All the Blackadders and Fawlty Towers are on Now TV via UK Gold. Ridiculous.

One of my very specific concerns is that it won’t be over in three years. But that’s a whole other conversation. I’ve been looking wistfully at Canada too: the dream is the Canadian to Vancouver from Toronto and then the Rocky Mountaineer back east to Banff.

This was my thought originally, but now I’m not sure which is going to last longer: me or MAGA. I’ve got seven states left to visit and one big yawning gap on the Amtrak network to tick off (the southern half of the east coast) and a part of me is starting to wonder if it’s now-ish or never.

This is making me itch to complete the States and/or all Amtrak routes. But who would go to the U.S. right now?

You’d be fine. Just don’t stray too far from the train.

Splendid.

This is why I get the absolute fear watching people wandering away from the train on Amtrak smoke stops. Saw a video of a guy on an Alaska train yesterday, filming at a remote, closed-down-for-winter flag stop a long way from the train. If it had gone without him, he’d have died of hypothermia.

I’d be mildly interested to know – of people I know – how many have deleted, how many have mothballed, how many are still using for work/promo, how many are still merrily tweeting away as if it was 2015 and Cameron had just fucked a pig.

Get off Twitter. It’s no longer just the right thing to do; it’s a fucking moral imperative. Write to your MP, the BBC, your football club … tell them to bin it. Stop posting screenshots of Twitter jokes and memes. Drive it out of decent society. Make it shameful. Destroy it before it destroys us.

I was right about the gimp mask at least

So it IS what I thought it was.

This is definitely not what I think it is.

Prunella Scales and Timothy West.

‘One thing stays the same …

… we’re always together.’

Diarrhoea-ohhhh-ohhh-ohhh shit I’ve followed through

It doesn’t cure the fucking earworm the song gives you though, does it

The real Milos ran on and replaced his double

Beryl.

Sorry it’s such a fucker. Hope you can use the end goal to get you through the shit that precedes it x

Oh mate x how are you feeling?

(I don’t have the face for selfies, so here’s an old boat instead.)

A derelict boat almost capsizing in a loch under threatening skies

This might be the picture I’m most proud of this year.

Reform are a racist party. If you vote for them, you’re a racist. Maybe you’re angry, disillusioned, protesting against something or someone, even stupid or a contrarian. But you’re also a racist.

Is he the best of all time? I don’t think I’ve ever tried to list my favourite directors, or the greatest directors, but MS is right up there in both categories.