Corey

So happy for you guys 🥹

Me too except mine just sit in baskets for at least a few days 🤣😭😅

Just paid $8 for eggs. Thank God Faddy Trump will fix this.

(The eggs were heirloom, organic, and free range (but don’t question me))

a cartoon of a monster with the words * maniacal laughter * written below it ALT: a cartoon of a monster with the words * maniacal laughter * written below it

I’m ✨basically✨ a child expert and this new little/big kid era I’m now officially in has got me questioning my life 🤣🤣🤣😭🤣 this is my favorite stage but also like wtf???? Lmfao

TMI question lol but does s3x ever kick start your 🩸? lol bc it’s like a 93% success rate for me lol

a man in a green elf costume is standing in a room with his mouth wide open . ALT: a man in a green elf costume is standing in a room with his mouth wide open .

👯‍♀️

Giiirl. You NEED to. I was SO hesitant to read it, but it’s worth everything. It’s incredible.

I would like to formally thank @pewifeandmom.bsky.social for introducing me to ACOTAR and changing my life.

GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SERIES I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS OBSESSED WITH A SERIES SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER.

No literally your biggest red flag lmao I don’t have it downloaded but for some reasons I still get texts that say “C sent you a snap” and I’m like omfg stfu lol

So, have we all just cut way down on social media in general with our mass exodus from Twitter? I love BS but I just find myself uninterested in almost all of it. I’m still pretty active on IG but even that’s considerably less.

a drawing of a crying smiley face with water coming out of its eyes . ALT: a drawing of a crying smiley face with water coming out of its eyes .

Gabriel: Iwant to be a superhero when I’m a grown up so I can be all the people to help people - a builder, a astronaut, a doctor, all of the helpers
Me: 😄🥹 that’s a great goal, buddy.
G: what about daddy? Is he one of those?
Me: daddy’s an engineer.
G: that’s a superhero too.

I’m about to fight about this bestie lmfao

Hahaha I’m a sloot for a backwards hat 🤣🤣😆 like plzzzzzzz

Marry a Grant. Accept nothing less 🔪

Did you guys see that Twitter Premium is 40% off? Lmfao every time I log in I get a huge notification. Black Friday “sale” or something else? 😌

Hehehe Ghehe GIF ALT: Hehehe Ghehe GIF

Thanksgiving week is the Olympics for trad wives like me. I finally earn my keep in Grant’s eyes. Can’t fuck this up. I’m off to a great start - rosemary garlic bread is rising, apple pie is prepped, and the turkey is brining.

This is what God created me for 🥹

I would do an actual Nugget personally! They’re so well made. We still have one of ours and it’s like new (except for the coloring my kids did on it lmfao)

Lmfao nice

No, like it’s actually insane lol I’ve heard that the 40s are also like that (most of it lol)

Your 30s are like your teenage years - all the good without all the bad.

The dirty 30s are… something. Holy shit lmfao.

At least I looked cute for the UT game before we spent the night in the ER 😅🤘🏻

Do yall prefer red or white wine with Thanksgiving dinner? 🤔

Omg lmfao that’s incredible lol in a horrible way 😭😂

Idk 😭😭😭 but it’s been too much this money lmfao

a woman is holding a cup that says help me ALT: a woman is holding a cup that says help me

We are 2/3 for broken bones this week and I’m actually about to kms 🥲🥲🥲 Gabriel got the littlest fracture in his foot last weekend and yesterday Josephine broke her arm in 2 places 🥲🥲🥲

Look at that big kid 😮‍💨🥹 pulled it out at recess lmfao

Without downloading any new pictures, where are you at mentally?

I really don’t have words for how discouraged and hopeless I’ve felt. It’s truly heartbreaking.

Why yes! I do have master degrees in child development and family science!

And yes, I also just told Josephine that the CFA chicken noodle soup is the Lord’s soup and will start helping her heal her sore throat and cough.

J: JESUS MADE THIS?!
Me: 🙃 uh no, but He was cheering them on…!