Laura

rare book collectors can be weird (positive), weird (neutral) or weird (pejorative), but people who collect bibles are always the last

this crossed my mind because i just saw a book with measurements described in inches and i had to convert in my head like 'huh, so that's... over two dicks'

having grown up in the us and moved to europe 21 years ago i have switched all my accustomed measurements to metric aside from dicks. they are probably the only thing i think of in inches, probably as i have not had so much engagement with them and never bother to listen to the dick forecast

lol labelled as adult it's a biblical woodcut from 1540

adam and eve at the tree getting fruit and holding leaves over their bits

going to the vending machine when you're all bandaged up after surgery

🥰

making a saintly pose with a shiny-ass bible

okay you can have the one from yesterday too

office selfie

just me and another huge-ass slavonic bible in the booksucking factory today

lrt: i realise not only that my own life sounds weird and complicated when i explain it to cis people, i also know a lot of trans women with similar trajectories and if i mention those in conversation they're like 'wtf how do you know so many people who've done this shit' and I'm like... no reason

average trans woman CV:
1997: car mechanic's assistant
1998: line cook
1999: opera stagehand
1999-2001: college (native american philology)
2002: sailor
2003-2005: tours of duty in iraq
2006-2008: college (electrical engineering)
2009-2010: seminary
2010-2014: tenure track prof (romance languages)

egg behaviour: learning suspiciously a lot about hormones, thinking about whether you might like to wear dresses, assuring yourself all guys want to be girls and cry themselves to sleep over it every night, producing introductions to old church slavonic. am i right dolls we've all been there

i can't quantify that other than producing a comprehensive introduction to a difficult dead language is a task large enough to distract you from the immanent necessity of transition hanging over you

when i first moved to vienna, someone gave me a rec for an intro book to old church slavonic, then spent most of the time talking about how the author transitioned mtf after publishing it. i (still an egg) ordered a copy immediately and looking through it now it's so something an egg would write

i feel in humanities it's pretty stark - transmasc representation is massively higher than transfem

first moocs in fishing, then an llm chatbot offering advice on catching fish

oh no a post i made is doing the numbers i should post about my intestines or something involving genitalia

they should stop designing office chairs that make me sit at the exact angle that makes me wanna fart

trans woman: i'm a woman now

cis ppl: gender doesn't matter anyway

trans woman: so you see me as a woman?

cis ppl: people are just people! what if we just got rid of gender. all gender is drag anyway haha!

trans woman: i need to go to the ladies'

cis ppl: THE ALL-GENDER ONE IS DOWN THE HALL

trans woman: i'm a woman now

cis ppl: gender doesn't matter anyway

trans woman: so you see me as a woman?

cis ppl: people are just people! what if we just got rid of gender. all gender is drag anyway haha!

trans woman: i need to go to the ladies'

cis ppl: THE ALL-GENDER ONE IS DOWN THE HALL

😮‍💨

gin, chianti / bourbon, rye

i will never vote in an american election ever again

replace rfk jr with an italian nonna. no more raw milk and cold shower bullshit, from now on it's 'you think you're gonna get a husband without some meat on your bones? have some more cannoli, they're the good ones from vazzini's'

brother, you have flown to the moon and walked with the girl from ipanema. now comes your next task: walking the (one more for the) road, inevitable at closing time

extremely disappointed to find out that 'vibe code' is not an ancient brotherhood of honour amongst vibraphone players in marriott bars

und weil die Trans eine Trans ist
drum braucht sie was zum Spritzen, bitte sehr!
es macht sie ein Geschwätz nicht hot
das schafft keine Titten her!
drum links zwei drei!
drum links zwei drei!
wo dein Platz, Genossin, ist!
reih dich ein in die Transsexuelleneinheitsfront
weil du auch eine Tranny bist

YouTube video by Wazi Clerks video store

digging through the streaming service trying to find something everyone wants to watch and missing video stores

youtu.be/KwFjw798mPI?...

like all the greatest viennese i have the urge to fuck off to berlin as much as possible

tbh i think more people than will admit it have a streak that makes them admire those things particularly

or perhaps rather, how few people care