Stephen "Spooky" Parker

this is literally never not accurate

"A fox passing through the wood on business of his own stopped several minutes and sniffed. ‘Hobbits!’ he thought. ‘Well, what next? I have heard of strange doings in this land, but I have seldom heard of a hobbit sleeping out of doors under a tree. Three of them! There’s something mighty queer behind this.’ He was quite right, but he never found out any more about it." jrr tolkien, the fellowship of the ring + a picture of a red fox

Forget Checkov's guns, what modern literature needs is more random Tolkien's foxes that have zero connection to anything else in the story.

I do give him credit for knowing instantly how he could be most helpful.

incredible photo that's definitely worth at least 1,000 words from Andrew Harnik of Getty

Wow if Zohran can do that, maybe I, a fellow Millennial, can also run for office (immediately has emotional breakdown attempting to organize a potluck)

I'm not a lawyer but if I was the sandwich guy's lawyer I would be making a point of saying "point blank range" whenever the jury was looking at a picture of the sandwich

It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.

Amazon is helping fund a $300 million build of a ballroom for the White House.

Independent bookstores are donating to food banks and organizations that help with food insecurity.

They are not the same.

I believe people who misuse Tolkien to advance fascism should have a brief but life-changing encounter with World War II–era Christopher Lee

I used to get excited when I knew the answer to a Jeopardy clue that stumped all three contestants. then a former champion told me that when they don’t buzz in it’s not that they don’t know, it’s that they’re using the urinals built into the podiums

Riker tooting on that boner

The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater

SLC was settled by people fleeing a useless American government. Some of their descendants are here today.

This single story is worth the cost of my year's subscription to
@wired.com

Wow. Sidney Reid, the DC woman just found not guilty of assaulting an FBI agent, issues a withering and gutsy statement on Trump through her attorneys.

"I feel sorry for the prosecutors really, who must be burdened by Trump's irrational and unfounded hatred for his fellow man."

It's a must-read:

Had to leave behind my phone for a repair, and the couple hours where anything could happen without my knowledge was honestly too refreshing. But I'm too much of an addict to live without it.

they should just make carpet out of pet stain remover

Thou sayest the King grows mad, I’ll tell thee, friend,
I am almost mad myself.

Things are happening at Portland's ICE facility tonight.

Read more of our protest coverage here: www.oregonlive.com/crime/2025/1...

Someone in a frog costume facing down a line of police in riot gear

George Orwell’s Animal Crossing

Look, I'm a simple man. I'd be happy just to watch Trump, Vance, Rubio, Hegseth & RFK Jr violently fight in a bunker over the last cyanide capsule.

The Ig Nobel is incredible , one year an Indian guy won it for calculating the average surface area of an elephant and during his acceptance they had an elephant hold up a sign with the surface area of the scientist on it, they do showbiz better than the Oscars

As with Charlie Kirk, Republicans are fiercely loyal to the general idea of Donald Trump but will furiously refuse to grapple with anything specific that he actually says or does.

this is why you can’t give an inch to transphobes. they are driven by hate and no amount of kindness will make them even momentarily soften. it is a militant ideology.

Portland doesn’t need the military. Portland has its own defenses.

The jaded side of me feels like the rapture was only trending to explain the 2/3 of missing persons from Alligator Alcatraz.

Utahns, here's a list of local advertisers on ABC4.

As a new dad, I'm already experiencing Bluey withdrawals. But it's the least I can do. #boycottDisney

Beaker as Giacinta "Jinx" Johnson from Die Another Day.

bond girls but they’re also muppets: thread

Imagine living your life in such a way that when you die, fascists are clamoring to speak at your funeral.