Elyse Joseph elysejoseph - Bluesky Statics

Breaking News: Marco Rubio Still Around

03.03.2026 19:38 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

When my bf says "miss your face" I do feel that it's a little disrespectful to my tits & ass

28.12.2025 23:32 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Think I have job poisoning

13.12.2025 23:02 — 👍 330 🔁 50 💬 10 📌 2

Catch me in the barnes and noble coffee shop flexing my library book

07.12.2025 19:29 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Not I, but Zoloft

05.12.2025 16:32 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Imagine surviving the apocalypse and then getting stuck with someone who started prepping in, like, 2020

03.12.2025 17:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Reminder that it is important to be ungrateful today so that Thanksgiving hits even harder

26.11.2025 18:55 — 👍 135 🔁 44 💬 5 📌 0

Bluesky gave their icon a tasteful bbl

26.11.2025 16:36 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

One cannot possibly imagine Prometheus happy

21.11.2025 07:35 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Laughing all the way to the bank; crying all the way from the bank

23.10.2025 14:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The economy: *in shambles*
Me, spending my last $6 on mozzarella sticks: hope this helps :)

23.10.2025 09:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Broke but happy does NOT mean happy about being broke

22.10.2025 19:20 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I, I took the road less traveled by, and I gotta say this road SUCKS

20.10.2025 19:32 — 👍 8 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Listen. This ain't my first rodeo, nor indeed my first time riding this horse specifically

20.10.2025 06:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Girl you have done it again ! Constantly lowering the bar for us all ! And doing it flawlessly !

18.10.2025 06:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Mfs will follow the most heinous turn of phrase with "if you will." No, my brother, I will not....

17.10.2025 14:45 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I'm back on the market boys! Everyone form a single file line

11.10.2025 15:17 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I heard eating sour helps with anxiety and let me tell you I've got EVERYTHING riding on these gummy worms

15.09.2025 06:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

if I make it to 69 y'all better say nice

09.09.2025 07:23 — 👍 122 🔁 39 💬 8 📌 3

I'm not sure my body can handle much more of this "getting out of bed" nonsense

10.09.2025 04:54 — 👍 36 🔁 7 💬 1 📌 0

I had no idea that galumph was a real word until today. I thought that was just Lewis Carroll dicking around

09.09.2025 01:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Headed to the dentist for a quick bells palsy speedrun

21.08.2025 15:23 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Man, I was born 2 whole weeks late. I didn't wanna be here frl

17.08.2025 16:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Having friends on socials isn't enough anymore. I need foes

11.07.2025 16:14 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I consider myself California spiritual. I don't do religion, but every once in a while I do see god in the trees

02.07.2025 03:01 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Is anyone else becoming their mother?

24.06.2025 06:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Damn, do I need to put the talc in the setting powder myself??

16.06.2025 21:27 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

U know the chip is crispy when u get a shard of it stuck in your gums

08.06.2025 02:28 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I just went shopping with my second paycheck at a new job. This next outfit y'all see me in bout to be crazy.

05.06.2025 00:52 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Am I going to have to buy the fucking talc and put it in the powders myself?

05.06.2025 00:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Posts by Elyse Joseph (@elysejoseph.bsky.social)