Sarah Ford

AI HUCKSTER: "i built you a machine that reads books for you."

ME: "can you build me a machine that unloads the dishwasher for me so *i* can read a book?"

Men’s pants: Your waist is 30 inches, therefore you are a size 30.

Women’s pants: Your waist is bad inches, you have wide hips, a small butt, short legs, a long torso, a prehensile tail, and we don’t like your face. Therefore you are a size whatever the fuck we want, but only at this store.

I wonder when social media companies will face any type of criticism for basically forcing millions of Americans - many of them minors - to watch a violent killing. Total negligence of moderation and safety standards and yet our reaction as a society is to punish private citizens for their posts?

DEI is the real cause of America’s housing crisis Census data shows 15 million excess housing units exist, contradicting claims of a housing shortage that activists use to justify eliminating local zoning laws.

I’ve read a lot of dumb takes since Trump rode down the escalator - but this has got to be one of the dumbest.

www.foxnews.com/opinion/dei-...

Me: Can I have one of those blue milkshakes that symbolizes Grimace’s blood?

McDonalds Cashier: (offended) We believe every beverage symbolizes Grimace’s blood

Michelle Obama: kids should have healthier school lunches

RFK Jr: maybe if we let the plague run wild we can build a master race

Media: wow these are the same thing

Kamala Harris at her closing campaign rally:

"Donald Trump intends to use the United States Military against American citizens who simply disagree with him."

National guard troops lounging outside a Krispy Kreme

Dearest Martha,

The National Guard stand solemn watch at the Krispy Kreme tonight. I cannot tell if they defend the people from the donuts, or the donuts from the people. Powdered sugar hangs in the air like cannon smoke. Jensen took a hot coffee to the face, he may never recover.

Yours in glaze,

He gave his life to Christ in the parking lot feels strangely intimate

Can’t put it more succinctly than @sarahkendzior.bsky.social did.

“Unprovoked”???

She doesn’t think there’s enough suffering in the world? …

Won’t someone please think of the blondes?!?!

“I will butt my nose in to prevent anyone from being critical of my child, but I won’t read with them for 10 mins a day” or “I WILL make sure the teacher honors my child’s special unique circumstances but I won’t take their phone away when it’s clearly the thing keeping them from academic success”

It’s because people who say that are thinking about the imaginary “bad people” and “bullies” they would go after for the sake of their kids. It’s why I hate when people say “I’m a mama bear if you come after my kids” - what i hear as a teacher is…

Audio book reader or voice over artist!

Hulk Hogan, lying inexplicably sideways in his open coffin, being visited by a chihuahua dog, who looks distraught. The people behind the coffin do too

I'm sorry, but this may be the funniest Facebook AI slop I have ever seen. Bury me sideways in my coffin, brother. Let my dog see

Give it up for this woman- using her Karen powers for good

😡😡😡

Now that I’ve seen their propaganda videos I’m wondering if shooting that video was the sole reason for this?!

Oh no I really hope Bill Clinton isn’t in the Epstein files, I’ll have to get rid of my Bill Clinton hat and my Bill Clinton sneakers and my Bill Clinton cologne and my Bill Clinton watch and take down my Bill Clinton flag and I’ll have to delete my Bill Clinton nft trading cards

mesa verde

glacier

arches

great sand dunes

National parks were the main places I wanted my kids to see, and I wrote about them in THE LAST AMERICAN ROAD TRIP. Breaks my heart that the book is coming out as Trump tries to make good on his plans to destroy them. I hope my book helps the effort to fight back. www.thelastamericanroadtrip.com

but something like “as a society we should work toward equality in this specific way” is “political”. Even if the specific way mentioned is not policy, but like “listen to POC/women more”, if it sounds even slightly off of the conservative GOP party line, it is “political” and not “appropriate”

And you are “being political” if you care about any social issues, like gender equity, racial equity, healthcare, healthy food, the environment etc., unless your concern is framed in acceptable religious terms. So like “every soul is precious to God, no matter their race or gender” is okay to say -

It’s because sooo many churches have been in bed with the right for ages, while claiming not to be “political”- in fact they use the word “political” as another synonym for “worldly” (meaning unspiritual, of the world and not of God). If they say you’re “being political” it’s a slight.

Sad Ozzy had to die before he got to bite the head off of Stephen Miller.

We should have listened when the modems screamed at us.

I think we got lost by lumping pretty much EVERY form of interpersonal conflict among young people as "bullying" because it means that it becomes impossible to actually reference.

The fact that the President of the United States posts a fake video of a kneeling Barack Obama being handcuffed and we’re supposed to pretend it’s perfectly normal, everyday stuff shows exactly what is terribly wrong with today’s political mainstream media.

“Six figures”

I’m sorry a ten percent chance of saving one (1) little girl at that camp was worth six figures, even in the relatively callous world of ‘statistical value of human life’ calculations