Pan de Regla

But for now...it feels so heavy...I feel so hurt

God I feel so guilty...if I live by tomorrow I'll just delete this mess of a post

I'm so tired. I just...I just want it to be over...I'm sorry I could not keep my promise of being strong.

I don't know why I am still holding on for a tomorrow that was never meant for me. On a promise that my life would be better. To be called a blessing when every voice in my head screams that I am nothing but a curse

He hasn't even met me...so he shouldn't have grown attached too much yet, right? He'll move on when I'm dead.My parents have each other, they'll be fine. My sister has her friends...she'll be fine.My two bestfriends have each other for comfort.They'll be fine. They'll just have to get over the grief

I'm not sure if I can live another day like this. Thinking I am not good enough. I feel sorry for the two men in my life who told me they love me. My father and my boyfriend. They would be devastated by this loss...but I don't see another tomorrow for me

There are several reasons on why I plan to take away my life. The biggest one is the trauma my own mother gave me. To be raised as a perfectionist and now I can't handle failure. The love I know is violent. There maybe no physical scars on the abuse I had as a child, but there sure are mental ones

I can't live like this, I can't live like I am a ghost of a person. I have told her that I could not bear another betrayal, and I really can't.

I have been given everything, everything so I can stay happy, but all I felt was being a bird in a cage. Everytime I try to love it is used against me. I don't even know how to feel at times without people telling me how to.

And baby I'll kiss you good night. Goodbye, I'm letting my demons win tonight

I hope the best for everyone

Not xvn or bardlatus related but my boyfriend is such a damn green flag I want to shoot myself out of happiness djsjsjs Olav I fucking love you so much

ah...what a lovely night to take my final bow

Magnet 🦋 #xiaoven

Venti and Xiao on a grass field, both with their backs pressed together, the sky has sunset colors, Venti is singing with his eyes closed, one hand up and the other one over his chest, Xiao is smiling while holding Venti's hat.

My first #xiaoven art, i have so much more and we gonna see it ALL☝️
#art #kingmochiart #illustrationart #digitalillustration #xiaoxventi #digitaldraw #digitalart

I'm done crying.

I could not be strong for you, or anyone else. I can't even be strong for me. So the moment I am left all alone, may god have mercy on my soul and allow me to wake up once more.

Always having my love turned against me. This is so tiring, I know I promised not to do anything, but everything I've read at this point made me relapse again. I hate breaking promises, but I literally have no one to turn to now. My tears no longer gets shed but the pain is unbearable

Perhaps we are similar in that aspect, my darling? Being to prideful to admit that we are hurting. Was it a learned trait? Because this was all I've ever known.

All I've ever known

And here I sit craving for the sensation of the silver moon dancing with the crimson rivers. Open the chasms, release the chaos I've buried deep within.

For the greater the love, the greater the hate.

My baby, my baby...

"Alatus, I can't love you the way you want me to..."

"I know, Mel, I know and you don'thave to...but I will love you anyway."

But to his absolute horror, he found out that it was too late. All those jokes Venti had made was a cry for help.

Now he felt as if his entire world just crumbled before him.

There was Venti, peacefully sleeping in a bed of silk and the finest wood. Never to wake again.

Silence. 30 days of silence. This isn't like Venti at all. Worried Xiao tried his darndest to try and reconnect with who he called his bestfriend.

His blood ran cold, he didn't even know what he did. But suddenly he was blocked out his life. He sat there staring at the black mirror. They were fine a couple of days ago. Why did he disappear?

Venti stares at his phone. The interaction between them. Too much, it's too much. His finger hovers to the little gear button next to Xiao's name.

He breathes in, breathes out.

A prompt comes up

'Are you sure you want to block this person?'

With tears in his eyes, he presses the yes option.

God of my pride wasn't in the way of asking help. If my dreams were just stronger than my fears

I cannot believe I am doing this over a sinple word problem I can't solve

I sometimes wonder if people would mourn me a long time if I die today

Ah the tragedy of a life cut short. But no one mourns the wicked.